What’s on your mind girl?

It’s time to speak up

Your thoughts (68)

Some conversations are trickier to have than others. Like what we want to study or do when we grow up, and when we feel ready for sex or to start dating. Whether it’s with your parent, teacher, partner or friends, being honest with how you feel about big decisions in your life is important.

Here are 5 tips for helping you to take on these conversations and make your voice heard.

Forget about being bossy

Don’t be afraid of coming across as “bossy”, because there’s no such thing. You’re just saying how you feel or what you want. Often, as girls, we can feel pressure to be nice, and soft, and not make a scene. Forget it – girls can make as much noise as boys, so never feel like you have to dull yourself to make others comfortable.

Your opinion matters

There’s no-one else in the world who is more ‘you’ than you! And that’s important. Be confident that your voice and opinion is valuable, in any situation. If you would rather focus on study than dating like all your friends, go for it! If you fancy classical music over pop, share your interest with your friends.

Cool off

When emotions like anger are running high, it can be hard to communicate clearly. If you’re having an argument with your parent or a teacher, coming to it with a calm attitude will help them see that you are approaching this in a mature manner.

Learn the power of NO

If you don’t feel comfortable doing something, whether it’s sneaking out, skipping class, going to the next stage with your boyfriend or you’re just too tired to go the mall after school – know that you are always allowed to say no. By saying ‘no’, you’ll also help empower other girls around you to feel that they can say no too!

Support other girls

If you hear a girl in class speak up about something important to her, but a boy or classmate shuts her down, try to say something supportive like, “I think what Sara said was really interesting,” or “I think Sara had a good idea”. Helping to raise the voice of other girls will help your own voice be heard when you need it most

Share your feedback

Your thoughts

Zamajobe

Guys there is a new boy in my school and i really really like him but the problem is he has asked my bff to date him what should I do😔😔

Sept. 8, 2022, 1:39 p.m.

Ziyand

Guys I am so confused I have a crush and that crush has a crush on me but now I don't have feelings for him anymore, 😢😢😢

Aug. 29, 2022, 7:13 p.m.

Nozipho

If you have sex and fell pregnant what are you going to do 😑

Aug. 7, 2022, 8:03 a.m.

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Nozipho

😭

Entle

Damn I could think is commting a suicide feeling ashamed at the age of 13 damn no

MasterOfPuppets

Either have an abortion or keep the baby

Shantie

#AskSpringster so been wondering if is it normal for a to masturbate? as I grew up in a community where a boy can do what ever he wants but a girl is judged. ENTLEK GIRLS LETS TALK WHAT ARR YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT MASTURBATING?

Aug. 6, 2022, 11:47 a.m.

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MasterOfPuppets

Masturbating is perfectly normal for girls

Tshedza

🍧🍨

July 18, 2022, 5:47 a.m.

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Ziyand

Yes girl live ur life

Tshedza

I'm single and i want a boyfriend and i always have a AIRTIME So leave your phone number and your name and what kind of SIM CARD you are using

July 17, 2022, 2:36 p.m.

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Nozipho

😂

Entle

Wow lady 😂🤣😃😊

calvi

Hi am calvin 082513987 vodacomn

Tshedza

Yeah that's superb,NO

July 15, 2022, 11:26 a.m.

Kaylon

True when you are not ready yet do not let your boyfriend let you do something that you are not ready for inspiration is what you need girls is to be inspired,😎😍😘🤗

June 28, 2022, 5:43 p.m.

14blessing

Thanx

June 26, 2022, 6:51 p.m.

#AskSpringster Oky so I'm 16yrs old and I don't have a boyfriend..I've never dated before because I get scared of the dos and don'ts of relationships also showing affection. Is this normal or??!

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Hi I think it's normal because I'm also like that. I'm not a dating girl so I prefer to be single Chao😍

Yes it is very normal to be scared. Some people do things to just make their pears happy. But life is about making your self happy, my advice to you is try and be your self and see how it goes ..….....All the best

Hi Bonoli, yes this is totally normal. Dating is something you should do when you are ready to start being in a relationship so you don't have to worry or rush yourself too much. Take your time and enjoy the relationships you have right now with your friends and your family.

14blessing

IT is normal girl take your time until you are fully ready 😘

Love

How about I be your first boy friend💗💗

Ameerah

You can be my first boyfriend

Entle

It's part of the girls routine it's like when you pass around many boys alone you start getting shy .

I've been struggling with self-defense and self-confidence because I'm tomboyish I usually dress up like guys Sometimes I do boyishly things And because of this my relationship with guys fail I need help is it because I'm not girly enough Or should I just wait until I'm grown up to be in the dating site?

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Hi Eeko_1818, thanks so much for reaching out to us with your story. Being born biologically female does not mean that you have to act feminine. You can be a girl, and be comfortable being masculine. It's all about what makes you feel good or how you feel comfortable. There's no need to change yourself if you don't feel comfortable in that way. You can also start dating when you are ready to. Understand that things might not work out with some people and for others it might work out. Try to be patient with yourself Springster and remember that we appreciate you for who you are!

14blessing

You don't need to change yourself for a relationship be you and you you you got this girl

# Why can't we all in life be the same and live without regrets????I feel so down Can please someone get me up by TRUE HOPES...

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Hey Larmash, we're not really sure what's getting you down, but know that we at Springster always have your back. If something is happening to you or if you're feeling a bit low, try to reach out to a trusted adult in your community. This could be a parent/guardian, a relative like an aunt or a teacher. You can also always call the counselors at Childline SA. Childline SA counselors are really great people to call when you are in need of help. They offer counselling over the phone, in person and online. You don't need to give them your name and can contact them any time of the day or night. Contact them if you are scared, feel alone and if something is happening to you, or someone you know. They are here to help you! Don't forget you can contact them on their 24/7 Toll Free Helpline: 08 000 55 555 for help. Check out their website on http://www.childlinesa.org.za as well as their Facebook and Twitter

Tshedza

#TO THAT

Hi.i was recently diagnosed with HIV.i learned to accept my condition but my ex keeps humiliating and degardes me because of my status.how do I stop him from harassing me.he threatened to tell my mom and daughter.what do I do?

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Hi RUSHANA, thank you so much for reaching out to us with your story. No matter what we are going through in life, it's important to keep people around that support us and motivate us during tough times. We're so proud of how you were able to accept your status, and we think that it's really important to take care of your mental health as much as your physical health. One of the ways to do this is to surround yourself with people who are able to offer you love, support and respect. Give yourself some time away from your ex and see if you can talk to a trusted adult like a parent/guardian, relative or a teacher about your status. It might be scary at first, but it will mean that you have a shoulder to lean on at times, and that you have someone to go to the clinic with whenever you need to. Most importantly it will remind you that you are not alone. Childline SA counselors are really great people to call when you are in need of help. They offer counselling over the phone, in person and online. You don't need to give them your name and can contact them any time of the day or night.They are here to help you! Don't forget you can contact them on their 24/7 Toll Free Helpline: 08 000 55 555 for help. Check out their website on http://www.childlinesa.org.za as well as their Facebook and Twitter.

All my friends started dating and I have not dating.What's wrong

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Latest Reply

Don't pressure your self to date just enjoy the single life ... My bestfriend was dating and i was and i waited and waited now am in a relationship going into our fourth year

14blessing

Nothing is wrong just wait for bae he is still pending and loading keep waiting

All my friends started dating and I have not dating.What's wrong

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Latest Reply

Well if you ain't ready for dating its cool girl just wait for the right time!

There is nothing wrong with you sweetie. I was a late bloomer myself and I always thought there was something wrong with me. Wait till you are ready and let everything happen in it's own time, eventually it will happen just wait till you are ready and remember there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. In the meantime enjoy not dating 😉!!!

I had a boyfriend we broke up 2 years ago,i have dated many boys after him but i have not enjoyed having sex with any of them like i did with him and this thing it's really causing many problems with my relationships because when it comes to sex i lose my attention with most of them and my relationships don't last because of this.

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Hi Lee I hear u I'm no expect but I do think that maybe if you were to give yourself tym to focus on urself b4 u jump into another relationship it might help couse in that way you l be also giving yourself tym to get over your x then once that is done u can move to da next agenda of starting a new relationship nd plz don't compare u new partner to ur old partner couse I also think that's wer it also goes wrong.... Goodluck!

My boyfriend made a girl she was cheating with pregnant.He told me that right after I found out that I'm pregnant too and I'm not ready to be a mother, so now I don't know whether I should tell him or just do an abortion... Please help me, to take the right decision

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Hey girl the right decision is never do abortion,just raise your child by your self

I agree with Anathi. Tell him that you're pregnant and see what his reaction is. The other girl is not your worries,it wouldn't have happened had he been faithful to you.Think about the baby. It is yours...YOURS! Abortion is a cruel thing to do. My love,I know that you are strong enough to handle this. You can do anything!

Hey Springster, thank you for reaching out to us, we're really sorry that you had to go through something like this. We believe that when it comes to a decision like this often you know what the best decision is for you but speaking to someone you trust about it can really help. Try talk to a parent, a relative, a neighbour or your teacher about this. You can also get some counselling and support from Childline SA. They offer counselling over the phone, in person and online. You don't need to give them your name and can contact them any time of the day or night. Don't forget you can contact them on their 24/7 Toll Free Helpline: 08 000 55 555 for help. Visit their website: http://www.childlinesa.org.za, Facebook and Twitter page for useful information.

Tshedza

Abortion

Nozipho

Do not arbot that baby of yours that baby is innocent 😢

Hi guys I don't know what wrong with me because I don't have feeling for boys and my friends think I'm into girls

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Hi guys I don't know what wrong with me because I don't have feeling for boys and my friends think I'm into girls

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Hi guys I have a boyfriend and it has been 4 years together but now I don't know why I am feeling for other boys but my boyfriend love me a lot and I have no more feelings for him anymore.what does that?

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

I think as women we need to stand together in unity. We shouldn't let our situation or emotions to suppress us; or pull us back, from what we want to obtain at the end of the day. We need to be there for each other,never judge but instead love ,care and support. We need to encourage one another and build a strong relationship. ×Dating shouldn't be a reason to be happy.. even when you are single..you can still enjoy life with family and friends. #You are as happy as you decide to be.

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

I just decided to be alone without having friends who will ininfluence me into bad things

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Hey Springster, we're really glad that you've chosen not to have bad influence in your life. We hope that you still make sure that you have someone to talk to when you need to. We here at Springster will also always have your back whenever you need us!

I hate my life i wana die

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Hey Springster, we really care about your well-being and your mental health. Please speak to someone about the way that you are feeling right now. You can approach a trusted adult like a parent, relative, neighbour or teacher. We know that this might sound a bit scary, but you'll be surprised at how much the people in your community are willing to help you. You can also talk to Childline SA. They offer counselling over the phone, in person and online. You don't need to give them your name and can contact them any time of the day or night. Don't forget you can contact them on their 24/7 Toll Free Helpline: 08 000 55 555 for help. Visit their website: http://www.childlinesa.org.za, Facebook and Twitter page for useful information.

Entle

No no don't even think like that lady . Don't kill yourself hell no bby gal. If you need something to talk about we can meet somewhere or talk via the phone no pls don't do that

Gail you dont have to die there is more into life

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Hai I'm new here I have a problem the this guy we grow up together as friends best friend I know him well and he knows me well we live at the same area I know all of his ex girlfriend and he knows all main as time goes on we develop feelings for each other but not showing any signs the this time we discussed to spend time together without any friends around us we talked one thing led to another we go together anywhere we were always on the same side as things went well everyone knows that we were dating bt things changed when he got arrested de I told myself to wait for him until he is back as time goes on I found out that I was pregnant with his child we were talking to each other at the phone almost every day I phoned him and told him that I was pregnant he said I'm joking I said no he admitted that OK so as time goes on he got out he didn't even come to see the child we did have any conversation to each other so one day I told myself I'm going tolk to him I stoled his number from my brother phone called him we talked he came to my house he sow the child bt didn't make any move taking to his parents all I want is my child to know where she from yes I do love him and he also says that he loved me so I gave him a chance to show that ya he showed me bt as time goes by her ex girlfriend came she stayed at his house he told me that bt he said he doesn't love her anymore by tomorrow she will be gone it's Hi mother that loves this gal , as he told me that she will be gone by tomorrow ya that helped we were together again,bt as time goes on the gal came back I didn't take he told me again bt this time she stayed more than mounts as the gal stayed the he would come and see me every day but that didn't work for me I told me I still love this men he haven't even spotted the child or bort her a thing I don't want anything from him I love him I only want see to be really parents and be faithfully honest with me as what mast I do because he says that he loves me sow much bt the things that he is doing fine don't make me happy

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Hi Sininoza, thank you for sharing your story with us. Relationships can be really tough when we feel like we're not being treated fairly in them. Whether we're in romantic relationship, a friendship, or a familial relationship, both parties should try and make sure that their actions match with their words. The most important thing to remember is that no one can tell you what decision to make about leaving or staying with your baby daddy. You can take advice from others, but ultimately the decision lies with you. To help you think about whether or not you want to stay with him. Make a list of the good things about your relationship and another list of the bad things. If one list outweighs the other, this is often a good starting point to try and figure out what the best decision will be for yourself. You can also ask yourself questions about whether or not you would be happy with him. Think about if things like if he does or would make you feel insecure or mistreated. On the other hand, we understand that even if you are not in a relationship, it's important that he plays a financially supportive role in the life of his child. Since we know that traditional rules play a big role here, we would suggest that you approach an adult member in your family about what to do. We think a older relative would know better about what to do in the traditional sense and perhaps they can also advise you about what to do from a legal standpoint.

Move on girl dnt worste ur tym thinking abt him

I've been dating him but from 25th January but I cheated on him, we were forever arguing, sometimes not talking to each and then I realized that he loves so I decided to stay loyal and he decided to cheat I dumped him he asked for lovebacks I gave him after few days I heard that her side chick is looking for me and then she came to my house with her friends saying that I took his boyfriend and then her friends asked him to choose be

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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"Hey Simphiwe, it's really important for you to discuss what type of relationship you want to have when you start dating your partner from the beginning. The both of you need to establish rules for what is and isn't cool so that you have a good foundation for your relationship. At this point, you need to decide if you are able to forgive each other or whether or not you want to carry on with the relationship at this point. he most important thing to remember is that no one can tell you what decision to make about leaving your boyfriend. You can take advice from others, but ultimately the decision lies with you. To help you think about whether or not you want to stay with him. Make a list of the good things about your relationship and another list of the bad things. If one list outweighs the other, this is often a good starting point to try and figure out what the best decision will be for yourself. You can also ask yourself questions about whether or not you are happy in this relationship, such as if you find yourself feeling insecure and mistreated. Although it is your decision it can often really help to speak to someone you trust about decisions like these, have you thought about a parent, older sibling, aunty, or a teacher that you can get advice from? Feel free to get back to us to let us know how things work out. You can also check out this article about a Springster who asked a similar question. http://za.heyspringster.com/sections/my-body/askspringster-my-ex-wants-me-back-now-what/ "

He is 13 years old, I'm 14 years old, He is in grade 7 and I'm In grade 10 My sister don't like him and I love him People say how could I date a BB gra

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Hey Simphiwe, no one has the right to tell you who or who not to like. People often say that dating a younger guy isn't wise because girls mature much faster than boys, but everyone is different and as long as you feel a connection with that person we don't see what the issue could be. You can hear other people's opinions and take advice from others, but the decision to be with that person is ultimately up to you.

All my friends are dating and I'm the only one single. And I enjoy to be single❤.The other day I found my friend crying😭 when i ask her she says to me his boyfriend dumped her 💔and I told her that no man don't cry just stop crying😭 over a boy.👨 What u need to do is to move on with ur life.And she did the same thing and after she was happy😺 single and enjoying her life👌💯😃 without thinking about a boy .

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Hy.He is 20 years old n I'm 15 I love him but he cheats all the time n everytime I ask about it he gets angry n emotional. When I was going up I always knew that the was something wrong with me n now I know that I have bilopar n went to a doctor to confirm it but I didn't tell my parents. This thing is the really bad coz I once tried to kill my boyfriend because of his cheating. It didn't stop from there one day I had a fight with my little sister n got really angry I even tried to stab her .I don't know how to deal with this thing now all my friends think that I'm weird or crazy I need to know to control it before it gets out of control please help me

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Can I find something who will love me forever??😎😎😎😍😍# I'm single

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

So guys as it's 2019 and am 5 months pregnant I don't know whether to go to school or what please advice and I had a ubnincal cord its very painful and it's pulling inside what does that mean?

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Hey Springster thanks for sharing. Firstly it is advisable that you go to the clinic as soon as you feel something out of the ordinary with your baby. As soon as school opens you can go and speak to a trusted teacher to work out your school schedule once you give birth. good luck!

Im 14 years old and have a friend who almost had lost her virginity to someone who is in a long term relationship ...as the first person she told i informed the others seeing i did not know what to to..we discussed it as a group with out her and agreed that the less we know the better...but everytime i see her she has a new story...i want to tell her that what she is doing is wrong but i cant...recently i have been acting cold towards her and things have been a little awkward im...im stuck between losing a friend and putting her in the right path...PLEASE HELP!!!

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Hi Anonymous, you're a really good friend for being concerned about your friend's actions, but try to remember that you can never push someone to go into a certain direction if it's not part of their plan. Everyone makes their own life decisions and as friends, all we can do is remind them of the consequences of some of the actions they take and let them choose what they want to do. Also, try to remember that our friends come to us so they have someone to talk to about what they're going through. You don't have to support their actions. You can simply take some time to listen and remind them of the possible outcomes of their actions. If listening makes you uncomfortable, you have every right to let your friend know about your values and how you feel. We hope things work out between the two of you.

I just don't wanna end my school leadership and my career I've worked so hard I can't trust the teachers at all if I spit out that we'll be the end of me and my school 😪😪😟😭😭

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Hi Hustlesoul3, we wish we could know more about your situation so we could advise you better but we are sure there is a good reason why you didn't. We do know that whatever it is you're keeping to yourself, there are people in your community that you can talk to. This could be anyone from your parents/guardians, relatives, an older sibling, a neighbor or someone from your school. Perhaps any one of these people ca make sure that your school career doesn't have to end regardless of what you have to speak out about. You can also speak to the counselors at Childline SA if you like. They will offer you counselling over the phone, in person and online. They are here to help you! Don't forget you can contact them on their 24/7 Toll Free Helpline: 08 000 55 555 for help. Visit their website on http://www.childlinesa.org.za as well as their Facebook and Twitter page for useful information.

Am 17 year old teen and well am feeling tired of the lifestyle my parents want me to live ,I just wish one day I'd be able to stand up for who I am fearlessly but for now I can't do anything as I fell trapped ,am living a lifestyle which is a choice of my own parents

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

Kumele uwazi ufunani empilwen Nje that all

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Hey Springster, you're so right. It's about knowing what you want and finding ways to achieve it. Thanks for this!

Hey guys, so I've been dating this guy for 2 years , I'm 15 and hid 18 and we've been through alot, we both cheated on each other but we sorted it out My family members hate him,and also beat him uo when they found out about us, recently one of my exes started spreading rumours and my bf fought with him telling him he has no repect... Then the next day i found out that he told people we had sex, it was a video, but i watched the video and he didn't say anything like that... My parents and brothers hate him and the fight is currently going on, we're secretly still chatting... My brothers will kill him if they have to i am so scared, him and I want to get married but my parents will never agree as he has a 'reputation' We plan on saving money and eloping becuz of this... Don't i have the right to choose who i want to be with? Please advise me❤😢

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

I'm 17 and I've been dating this boy for 9 months now.BT my mother doesn't like him she always says bad things about him,she says if I don't break up with him i must live the house. One day I had sex with him ,I saw a condom even when he opened it BT I think the minute he did it he pulled the condom off BT when I confront him he says he didn't BT I know he's lying. Now I think I'm pregnant BT I have no potential of raising a child and I don't want my mother to find out so I was thinking of arboting the baby b4 is it a right thing to do??

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

I grew up without my father but that doesn't make me feel weak because I was told that everything happens for a reason then I started to write poems about my life and my feelings for my father. This is the poem I wrote for my self for my father's absence in my life.💔💔💔 Everything happens for a reason 💔 The thought of not knowing you It usually kills me deep inside 💔 There's a side to me that always looking, searching for your presence 👁️👁️ But by the end of the day it gets tired 😪😪😴 Course It figured out that everything happens for a reason 💔💔💔😪😪😴 This poem is telling me that go on with your life 😀😀😀

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hi LFN, we think you're right about everything happening for a reason. It's simply up to us to figure out what that reason is. We're so glad that you're finding ways to deal with your emotions and your feelings as this is super important. Using poetry and words to deal with pain can be really helpful for you mentally. It helps you process your emotions better. P.S. We love your poem and we think it's really beautiful! Remember that it can also be helpful to speak to a trusted adult like a parent/guardian, relative, neighbour or teacher about what you are going through too. If you need to speak to a counselor about yourself or your father, it would also be a good idea to speak to the counselors at Childline SA.You don't need to give them your name and can contact them any time of the day or night. They are here to help you! Don't forget you can contact them on their 24/7 Toll Free Helpline: 08 000 55 555 for help. Check out their website on http://www.childlinesa.org.za as well as their Facebook and Twitter page for useful information.

Hi LFN We are so sorry to hear that. Sometimes having someone to talk to helps especially about this. If you have someone close you can talk to please do. It can be a relative, teacher or anyone. Let them know how you feel. Always know that your father's absence is not your fault. Continue to write poems Springster.

In life, you meet a lot of different people, from different backgrounds with different problems... It is very important to never judge the other person who tries to speak to you some don't even get the chance to do that at their homes, you know to speak about the way they feel... Next time someone opens up to you please listen and try not to make them feel small....

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Hi Avanornker We agree with you, we are supposed to treat each other in a nice way.

I'm motivated by what others think about. This is a quote I live with and I would like to share it with you guys People may say bad things about you in your back instead of feeling unwanted and low use that as a motivation and prove them wrong that you're not what they say you are. @than.do_lorraine

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Hi Thando28 We think that getting support from the people you trust is important. They will be able to guide you.

We women are much more than just cleaning houses and turning on a man we women are more than that We are Strong Beautiful Confident Not a sex machine And we are smart 100%

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Mihle_

Cheers to that🥂