It’s not you. It’s me

Learn how to cope with people when you’re an introvert.

Your thoughts (92)

You love spending time alone doing your favourite things, like catching up with TV. Being an introvert doesn’t make you antisocial. It’s just that you’re the kind of person who enjoys their own company.

Sometimes, when you're more comfortable on your own, it can make socialising or dealing with people scary. So how do you deal with people? How should you react when your friends are giving you the guilt trip because you’d rather read a book than go to a party?

You have to show them that you care. If your friends know you well enough, they will understand. And if they don’t? Explain it to them. Show you care in another way, like helping them tidy their wardrobe.

Rather than going to the mall, invite your friends to the park. Bring people into the things you love, like reading books — and watch your friendships become deeper and more meaningful.

Being an introvert doesn’t mean you can’t make or keep deep friendships. You can! Maybe you’re never going to a party with a friend, but you can help them with homework.

You don’t have to be shy just because you’re an introvert. Here are some tips to help you overcome nervousness when meeting new people:

1. Talk to everyone
Start with one person, like a classmate you only ever smile at. Start small by saying hello to them. When you’re more comfortable, add another person, and greet them every day.

2. Pay compliments
Does one of your classmates have a new hairstyle you like? Let them know! Complementing people is a great way to start a conversation.

3. Join a club
Maybe you’re a good singer or dancer. Join a drama or sports club to meet people who share your passion.

Share your feedback

Your thoughts

I think I will be strong when I'm reading books alone and studying alone

March 20, 2022, 9:01 p.m.

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Nihan

Me too

I'm usually alone because I like to read,listen to music or watch tv and I like and I prefer it rather than drinking or using other substances I also like to draw and I find peace when I read. Yesterday I was reading a book and I caught myself smiling because of the characters in the book they were sooo humorous 😁. But I have people I talk to and my siblings but I like being alone a lot. Don't know why but I'm not always alone because I have my phone and wattpad and whatsapp😍

March 20, 2022, 9:01 p.m.

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Its not something you should worry about ,you just a happy loner ,just like me 👑embrace it and keep making yourself happy.

I'm usually alone at school and like reading or doing my work during free classes Some people critising me saying I'm anti social and that I think I'm special all those kind of staff .. but i really don't mind .. I'll get used to it I just wish I could be as open and social with them just how I'm with my family 😀

March 20, 2022, 9:01 p.m.

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be satisfied for yourself dont be depressed of criticism assure yoself that lyfe goes on

Hey, i wanna be a Tv star im passionate about everything but my Problem is that i dont get time to look for drama classes cause i do all the chores at home plz give me an advice😞

March 20, 2022, 9:01 p.m.

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Type your comment нere...gυyѕ ιѕ ιт good тo daтe yoυr claѕѕмaтeѕ... plz нelp

Asanda I don't see anything wrong

Hi Springster. There should always be time to pursue your dreams. I would recommend you make the time to research reputable acting classes or art schools that will help you become better at your craft and maybe a few agencies that can get you castings. Good luck

yeah am dat prsn I enjoy my own company n I rlly do not like galfrndz coz sometimes we dont want to listen to each other then we fight so nna I stay indoor n watch tv n read books n write data wats keeps me going n open

March 20, 2022, 9:01 p.m.

wuuuu am like that , i even like to singbut shy to sing publicly:/

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

Well my friends dont understand the fact that i love enjoying my own company cause they say that i'm a introvert so i try to make them understand and tell that it's good to be your own company. But being your own company it's good . And there's nothing wrong about it.

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

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Me to sometimes I just don't feel like having company I just want to be on my own lol lol my frnd sometimes she doesn't understands me

Yhoooo that is me hey I can make people laugh but only those very close If I don't know one person in a certain group,I keep quiet

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

Ty pe your comment here...situations lyk this needs to be dealt with diplomacy gud luck

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

guyz i recently got in a relationship to a gal who has been in date with another guy she waz de one convincing me to be in date wth her and i accepted her .she told me wat waz happening to her guy then told me tthat can i appreciate the dual relationship after all am longer in contact wth her guyz help me

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

I just want to say just stand and tell your self that u wnt to carry on with lyf and forget abt evrythng and be proud of wht u are and remember one thing u cnt change the past but u cn change the future

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

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Hey, Springster. Thanks for your advice.

Is it fine if i start becoming friends with lots of boys i know ?

March 20, 2022, 8:59 p.m.

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Hi JLB.Kween . It's fine for you to be friends with people of the opposite sex.

Hi jlb kween. It's fine but you have to be careful around boy's because you don't know what they will do 😊

hi there!! Being shy or a quiet person does not make you any less special you are unique in your own way ..the way God created you..dont feel bad not everyone wants to be an extrovert some people like being quiet and calm doing their own lil thing ..i myself is an introvert i dont like being the loud one .. i like keeping things peacefull .....just remember your amazing just how you are no matter if your loud or quiet it doesnt define you..you are your own kind of beaitiful.......

March 20, 2022, 8:59 p.m.

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Beautiful

Thanks for your advice Nicol2ne. It's very useful to me.

Thanks for your advice Nicolene. It's very useful to me.

Hi NicoleneQ18. Thanks for sharing this inspirational message with us!

Hi there, ever since I got pregnant

March 20, 2022, 8:59 p.m.

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what happened since you got pregnant???

This is also what I suffer at people think I am selfish or just abnormal

March 20, 2022, 8:58 p.m.

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Hi Ayanda15. You should explain that you're an introvert and that it doesn't mean that you're quiet that you are selfish, it's just the way you are.

hie guy's ever since my mother died when I was eight l don't like to talk now people think that l'm selfish, l have too much pride that's why l don't to them but m not .theducation time l have people around me talking like can only answer their questions only l became speechless l will not know what to say

March 20, 2022, 8:58 p.m.

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Hi Mno, thank you for reaching out to us. You should understand that there is absolutely nothing wrong with how you are behaving. We all mourn and grieve differently, and if other people make you feel odd, then remind yourself that they do not know what you are going through. Have you ever thought about talking to a trusted adult, like a school counsellor, a teacher, parent or relative? If you feel like you need professional help to help you deal with the emotions you are currently experiencing, try calling Childline SA. They will offer you counselling over the phone, in person and online. You don't need to give them your name and can contact them any time of the day or night. Contact them if you are scared or if you feel alone. They are here to help you! Don't forget you can contact them on their 24/7 Toll Free Helpline: 08 000 55 555 for help. Visit their website: http://www.childlinesa.org.za, Facebook and Twitter page for useful information.

please help me l try my best to get used to people but l can't n now I choose to stay indoors every day

March 20, 2022, 8:58 p.m.

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Me neither people are even starting to call me a weirdo or a socially Awkward person and I'm starting to become depressed about it Please Help

I also have the same problem I find it hard to communicate with other people

March 20, 2022, 8:58 p.m.

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Thats exactly how i am

Wow..this really helps young women to show then who they really are and that is amazing ❤️

March 20, 2022, 8:58 p.m.

Wow..this really helps young women to show then who they really are and that is amazing ❤️

March 20, 2022, 8:58 p.m.

hy I have a problem with my boyfriend, we always fight over small things

March 20, 2022, 8:58 p.m.

hy I have a problem with my boyfriend, we always fight over small things

March 20, 2022, 8:58 p.m.

hy guys need ur help i'm still in love with my babydaddy eventhough he did and said the most painful things to me but i still love him da feelings jst won't go away

March 20, 2022, 8:58 p.m.

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Girl keep forgivin him until he realises that you are the one ... avoid confrontin him until he feels guilty he'll change his ways

Girl keep forgivin him until he realises that you are the one ... avoid confrontin him until he feels guilty he'll change his ways

Well that's called love eyy....never stop loving him ....💞💝

Hy guys .i really need help gettin my boyfriend back The reason we broke is that he had another girlfriend i did not know about her at first, few weeks later a friend of mine told me about but i did not care.. i confronted him about this and he did not deny it ,so we agreed that i'll continue datin him even he has a girlfrnd..ok things were sliding smoothly until i went to visit him last month when got there i took his phone to see the time and then boom! what do i see ? He has this girl as his screensaver! I got mad and asked him to choose between her and I He said he'll leave us both because he loves us equally But now the thing is he is the only guy i've ever had sex with and i love him so much i need him back I've begged him several time for us to get back together but he always shuts me down What do i have to do?

March 20, 2022, 8:58 p.m.

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ok 1st u hve to look at hw ws everything at first sn compare dem mayb da solution will cme out bt dn i cn say he does mc u a lot da problm is dat he doesnt knw where to start

Firstly u need to find out wy he z ignoring this issue eyy ........maybe tolukhuti .....he's back with his previous Bae eyyy.....but they say love z unfair ........as for mie I think its really unfair ........if u do really love him go get him ey 💖💕

U used to date this guy remember,so u probably should knw which buttons to press to make him want to talk to you.... Don't give up on your boo luv

Guys is it right to have a best of best of best frnd who is a boy?who is ur crush???

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

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No coz probably you will tell each other secrets and he'll end up telling you about his girlfriends and stuff.....that will hurt you much more than it would if you weren't close

Hey guys I'm having problems of trusting th person I'm dating I once heard that he is a player I asked him n he deny So idk what to do because now his ignoring me N on the phone he drops the phone when I'm speaking to him What can I do

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

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Hey Springster, we want the people in our lives to respect us. This means that they shouldn't lie to us, ignore our feelings, or do anything else that might hurt our feelings. Dropping the phone on you is not cool at all. You should really try to communicate your feelings to him and tell him you are not feeling that great about what's happening. From then onwards you can decide if the relationship is worth staying in. Good luck Springster!

Hy guys ii reaaly needbur help....what is happening is am dating and i have dated but the problem is my fam dont want me to date and the guy am dating with i cant afford to lose him i love....plzz help what do i do

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

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Hey Itumelengbaitumetse, it's your decision if you want to keep your dating life separate and private from your family, but you have to make sure that you have someone to talk to about these things. Talk to someone you can trust about your relationship, preferably an adult that you trust like a teacher, or a relative.

Hy guys ii reaaly need ur help....what is happening is am dating and i have dated but the problem is my fam dont want me to date and the guy am dating with i cant afford to lose him i love....plzz help what do i do

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

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Hey Springster, dating is not a sin so we understand why you are probably frustrated by your family. They probably want to prevent you from dating because they feel you are their child and all they want to do is keep you safe. Try talking to someone in the family that you can trust and depend on and be honest and open about the relationship you have. Maybe they can help you.

hey springsters i really need ur help..ohk l cheated on my boyfriend wu took my my virginity n l felt loosing interest in him after i found de new boy friend...n he find out dat l'm cheating on him n he does not trust me anymore,wat i don't lyk is dat he believe all de rumours ppl say,even things dat l'n not aware of.n l lv this knew boyfriend l hv..i wish 2 let him go but l can't my it because he took my virginity.wat must i do??.

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

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Hey Springster, just because someone took your virginity does not mean that you are forced to stay with him. You should probably get in touch with the other reasons of why you want to leave him, like if it's trust issues for example. Ultimately, the decision to leave him lies with you and we hope you make the right decision for yourself.

I had sex with 3 different guys but my man who we have been together for long period I always tell him DAT am not ready for it..but now it hard to tell him that am no longer a virgin as I was before...,what if I loose him for the rest of my life.,he's the man who knows me better than ada boys he knows me very well

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

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Jus have sex with him and even suck his penis.donr stop giving him and he will forgive u ,i always do dat wit my man.im an introvert but im very freaky in bed i lik doin tje things of pornstars nd im even getting wet just by telling u guys yoh.like my man fingering me wen im bending or me sitting on his face or him muffing me. U shud do it lik tht gal

Just tell him the truth.... If you loved him you wouldn't have slept with other man....

I'm an introvert and I just have a difficulties in dating like when I meet some guy , we date then about 2 weeks or so we break up . My longest relationship was 6 months. These days it's even hard to trust a guy . I've been hurt to the highest level and broken inside . I don't know if it's me or them but I'm a very insecure person. I like attention so much . Why do guys always play with my feelings ? I just feel like I was born to be alone in this world. I know I should just love my self even more but I just don't know who to open up to these days .

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

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I'm an introvert too. My story is exactly just like yours, but then I'm learning to take care of number 1. I've let everything be, cause if it's meant to be it'll be. From now on I'm putting myself first and leaving everything as is, including romantic relationships and friendships. One day you'll find the one that'll love you for being you.

Hey Shantal, we think Candy_leigh2000 is right about this one. Sometimes it's not always the best idea to be in relationships when we are dealing with our own emotional stuff and insecurities. Also, remember that it's totally normal for relationships to start and end, especially when we are young. For now though, try to take some time on your own and practise loving yourself and putting yourself first. Don;t worry Springster, things will turn out alright in the end. If you're feeling down and you want to talk, you can always go to see your counsellor at school. Otherwise you can call Childline SA. They will offer you counselling over the phone, in person and online. You don't need to give them your name and can contact them any time of the day or night. Contact them if you are scared, feel alone and if something is happening to you, or someone you know. They are here to help you! Don't forget you can contact them on their 24/7 Toll Free Helpline: 08 000 55 555 for help. Visit their website: http://www.childlinesa.org.za, Facebook and Twitter page for useful information.

This is great I'm going to try this

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

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Hey Kbelo, we're glad you enjoyed this! Do let us know how it all works out in the end😊

I seem to be pushing everyone away. My former classmate, he's a boy, understood me better than anyone. He always tried to accommodate me in every situation. Even when I lost hope during our final matric exams last year, he held my hand and gave me hope. Lately I've been ignoring him, I don't know why I did that and I regret it. He used to call me every now and then, but now he doesn't call anymore. I think I've hurt his feelings and I want to apologize. He always had my back, I just need him!

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

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Hey LeighRatow, maybe you should consider sitting down and talking to your friend about what it is that has made him keep his distance from you. Communication is important for any healthy relationship so it is important for us to be open and honest with the people who are closest to us in our lives.

I really love how this is inspiring. I thought it's not good to be introvert, I really like my own company. I spend 2-3minutes with people then "duh" I get bored.I'm inspired, thank you a lot.I like the last tip because it is exactly what I'm doing

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

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Hello T-girl There is nothing wrong with you.People are different and we should accept them as they are.We are glad the tips are working for you.

Hi I need some advice. I'm a girl and I'm 15 I don't really have a lot of friends. I enjoy spending time with my peers but I just don't have anyone to talk to in my neighborhood my only friends that I had in my neighborhood no longer seem to care about me like before I only have friends at school and they live really far for me to visit them and my mother will never allow me anyway I really wish I had friends because I get really lonely sometimes and get really bored when doing the things I like alone I recently got myself a boyfriend but he is boring I had thought that maybe this would help but it's not working out I am trying to change him for the best so I could understand him but I just don't think hes the one we have nothing in common ..I'm lonely and need help I sometimes get suicidal thoughts but they just tend to fade away quickly since I enjoy reading the bible :)..;)

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

So the is this girl in my neighborhood we have been friends before but we no longer are I just want her to be my friend again how do I make this happen

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

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U have just had what I was going through.But what help me is I called when she was passing just told her that I miss her and I wanna have a chatt with her about her past years I wasnt in her lyf then boom it happened we re Friends again chatting and happy U should try it

Hi guys . I don't know if its normal or whatever💔 I love spending time alone. but when I see this group of cool kids then I want to befriend them but . I dont have the kind of money to buy clothes like they wear or cellphones that they have. Please help

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

Hey guys....I find it hard for me to communicate with ppl.Am always indoor n I could say am addicted to my cellphone and TV those are my friends.... My street mates sometimes thinks I like to act better than them bcoz am always home wtv or lib..I sometimes feel like take a walk with them but I just don't feel like I fit in

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

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Hi gal I also feel like that sometimes but I've tried telling them how I feel and it helps if they r good friends they'll understand but if they judge you know they r not good for you...I've also tried making my mom my bestfriend I am so amazed in so much I could talk to her about and always pray

Hey Monkeigh, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being an introvert. Spending time alone and indoors is not a bad thing at all. However, if you do feel like you need to get out more then maybe you could consider joining a book club, extra mural activity or any society at school or in the neighbourhood that offers something you enjoy. That way you'll get to meet new people while doing some fun stuff you enjoy and getting better at something you're good at like a sport or cultural activity.

Hey momo

I really like your story

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

I'm triggered by this story . course I'm an introvert to n sometimes I feel as though ppl don't understand my space , the way I am

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

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Hey Miyya, it's absolutely fine to be an introvert. Spending time alone and indoors is not a bad thing at all. However, if you do feel like you need to get out more then maybe you could consider joining a book club, extra mural activity or any society at school or in the neighbourhood that offers something you enjoy. That way you'll get to meet new people while doing some fun stuff you enjoy and getting better at something you're good at like a sport or cultural activity.

Hi while im reading ur story im an introvert myself. I like my own space. I dont go out to clubs when my friends go i stay at home most of the time. Now i dont even go to m friends house anymre. I was fed up coz i always hav to go to them bt they dont come to my house so iv distants myself. Im doing oky on m own jst getting bord being alone. No bf nd no friends.

Hi while im reading ur story im an introvert myself. I like my own space. I dont go out to clubs when my friends go i stay at home most of the time. Now i dont even go to m friends house anymre. I was fed up coz i always hav to go to them bt they dont come to my house so iv distants myself. Im doing oky on m own jst getting bord being alone. No bf nd no friends.

Hi springsters i really like and enjoy staying alone indoors and i dont even have friends i really like 2 have 1 or 2 friends but its really hard for me 2 make friends i really need help with that.

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

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Hey Mamohau, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being an introvert. Spending time alone and indoors is not a bad thing at all. However, if you do feel like you need to get out more then maybe you could consider joining a book club, extra mural activity or any society at school or in the neighbourhood that offers something you enjoy. That way you'll get to meet new people while doing some fun stuff you enjoy and getting better at something you're good at like a sport or cultural activity.

Hi Itu. Dont worry i hv the same problem i hardly has friends . I hv a problem is it normal to just look for a bf as ur best friend .. i dont trust girlfriends coz they the once who cnt be trusted

Hi springster . Its been a close book for a while now bt i cnt get over wht happend. Okay. Here it goes. Im 25 lady. Was pragnant m first child bt only 2weeks pregnant i started noticing.I was so excited very very much . the father to b we only had a thing for 6months nd r best friends like forever. Untill i got pregnant of him. I told m mom about the pregnancy she didnt knew iv seen someone. Bt i need to tell her out of excitedmnt i didnt thnk. Eish okay i told her . She was socked nd tell m i must move out or determate the bby. I told the father nd he also tell m to remove the bby. Im the only 1 who wants m bby . Its very hard for me to accept wht they want from me or to jst b okay with it. Avengely I did abort m baby now I'm struggling to get over it. I was hospitalized for depression. I need advise please It feels I hv nothing left. -

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

hey springsters...i love spending time alone...i used to have lots of friends..but now i'm always indoors...people say i hate them..i'm just a spoilt brat and call me all those hurtful words.

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

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Hey springster ... I have this kind of a problem of being introvert but it's getting worse , I like spending time alone and before I use to have good friendship with my friends , have a strong relationship with my family but now I don't know what happening , I've been lonely this days. i always do everything all alone and i feel like don't want company anymore . I'm doing grade 12 and my friends are behind in me in grades so they think that I have pride since I'm doing grade 12 and my family think that there's something wrong about me or I have something like depression but I always tell them that I'm okay and I think they don't understand what kind of person I am at all ...so I don't know what can I do to make them understand how am I

Hey springsters I love spending time alone and at home they even shout at me because of that I love to sit in a quiet place and sometimes I sing sometimes I read a book

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Hy sprinters I love spending time alone,im shy sometimes my friends take me as stupid to them because I don't know most of thing that they know,also about relationships they treat like a stranger sometimes and I can't stand for my self just because I'm shy what can I do ?

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Hy sprinters I love spending time alone,im shy sometimes my friends take me as stupid to them because I don't know most of thing that they know,also about relationships they treat like a stranger sometimes and I can't stand for my self just because I'm shy what can I do ?

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.