How to nurture relationships with your strict parents/guardians

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Your thoughts (48)

Parents, we love them for taking care of us but sometimes communicating with them can be difficult. Some parents are easy going and give you a bit of freedom, others can be strict and difficult to reason with. If your parent is the second kind then communication can often break down. We’ve got some tips that you can use to start a healthy relationship with your strict parent.

Meet on mutual territory

Talking about topics that interest both you and your parent can be a gateway to starting a healthy relationship. Try to talk to your parent about things that they enjoy as well. Ask them about their day and how they are doing. You will be surprised to see how much they warm up when they notice that someone genuinely cares about them. Ask for stories of their youth and get them talking about who they were when they were younger. Nostalgia always tends to put adults in a good mood.

Do activities that you both enjoy

Spend some time bonding with your parent by doing activities that you both love. It doesn’t have to take much time or money. You can help you parent by washing the car or doing the dishes Watching TV also counts as a bonding experience. Spending time with someone gives you an opportunity to get to know that person better and this helps you understand them better.

Do something nice

Your parent is often overworked and tired. You can do something small to show that you care. This may seem irrelevant but by showing that you care, you change the mood of your parent for the better. And a happy parent is a more open parent.

When establishing a relationship with your strict parent, remember that timing is everything. If you don’t time your approach perfectly, you may damage your relationship further. Try not to approach your parents with sensitive topics when they are busy or in a grumpy mood. Soften them up with mild conversation before bringing in the heavier topics.

Tell us about what you are doing to improve the relationship with your mother or guardian?

Share your feedback

Your thoughts

MasterOfPuppets

My mom told me that, my real parents were aliens(the grey ones) since then, I've been looking for them ever since.(oh, if you see UFO's just know it's most likely my real parents looking for me)

Sept. 28, 2022, 11:39 a.m.

Angela_18

Thanks❤️🥺

Sept. 25, 2022, 1:30 p.m.

Phindile

Essssshhhhh ushayelani khona❤️💋🤗🤩👍

Sept. 24, 2022, 2:55 p.m.

Keith

I think who ever al wrote this really understand family life

Sept. 18, 2022, 2:29 p.m.

Latest Reply
Sweetday

❤❤❤❤🥵

Sibiya

Hey gyz 😁 I'm knew in springster❤❤

Sept. 14, 2022, 5:29 p.m.

Latest Reply
Tana775

Hyy

2010

Hey 😊 guys

Nonhle.magwaza

Hey guyz ❤ I'm new here

fadwahboltney20

nice, I needed this, thank you springster❤️!!

Sept. 13, 2022, 7:44 a.m.

Latest Reply
Nonhle.magwaza

❤❤

myssmisterigyrl2

My relationship with my mom is great 💖💖 my father is stubborn 😡😡 but I don't care 😋😋

Sept. 11, 2022, 7:01 a.m.

Latest Reply
Asa

And me to 😡😡

1234

How is he Stubborn

Matlou

Hi my name is Kgaugelo am 13 years old my mom always tell me bad things about me, she comber me with some girls I know.I feel like she hates me🥺🥺🥺😔 guys give me advice

Aug. 6, 2022, 6:58 a.m.

Latest Reply
Nozipho

Tomorrow is school day 😩😩

Wendy07Đube

She doesn't hate uu at all u hv to do is to ask her about her childhood maybe it's actually affecting her so thus y she is doing this to uu

Oooo

Me too and I am Naledi am 15 years old my auntie is very bossy like others 🤣😎😍😁😂😻😅 me too but I'm like the kids who don't have parents 😁😂😻😅

23we

Sorry 🤨🤔

1234

Are you adopted or you once did something wrong in life wht have you done bfore 😑 cause some parents can't treat you like this for no reason I am sorry but try to talk to her 🥰

Sibiya

She don't that'll just tell u but she just admiring the other girls ❤so u can change😎

Nonhle.magwaza

My mother too😓😓

Nyakane

Hi guys ..Am Siyabonga but u can call me Siya or Samu ..... Am turning 19 this year on the 8 Aug .....but let's get back the comments : I do have those kind of parents ....like they treat me like I am a 7 years little princess ...I do like to be treated like child coz I am independent now I have to chase my dreams....I finished matric last year I was a learner at Mzila second school since 2018 first year grade 8...I don't have a child becoz I want a handsome husband who has responsibilities not run aways (ti springbok).....I can be a good wife indeed ....My dream is to be a Millinare and a business women .......if u can help me with some information coz I need a sponsor for my education and I am looking for a team I am a dedicated netball player ; soccer ; Captain; refree.........

Aug. 1, 2022, 9:29 p.m.

Latest Reply
Cassius

Moyo number pls

iamagirlandunknown

guys I got rapped 😭😭😭

Aug. 1, 2022, 1:32 p.m.

Latest Reply
Ntsane

What! You got raaaaaaaaaaapppppppped shoo Sorry maybe you are praned😂😂😂😂 wear a dress but not the short once the old once that cover your feet 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂 😂

Thingo

💔😔😭I feel ur pain but u hv to stay strong and maybe u can share this story of urs with a member of ur family that u trust the most❤😞much love for u💋

mmakelebogile

Sorry dear find someone to talk to .i know de feeling

1234

Who raped you

Anam

Sorrrryyyy😭😭😭😱😱😬😬😬😬who did that

MasterOfPuppets

Ntsane you have to lack a brain, if you're able to laugh about such a sensitive topic

_lovely

Hey you should seek help And this nstane or whateves You ain't funny 😤

Robiey

I just ask my mom how she manages to be strong after everything she's been through (sad background), sometimes I feel I'm just an ungrateful kid especially when we consider the respect topic.

July 18, 2022, 4:48 p.m.

Tshenolo

Hi how do u restore ur mother's trust please help guys please..🙏 🥺

July 14, 2022, 10:14 a.m.

Latest Reply
Jinx

Hey girl you should try helping her at home say nice things to her and apologize if u did something wrong 🙏

Tshoanelo

Hi Jinx I tried talking to u on Moya App and u did not answer me my name was Tshenolo now I am Tshoanelo on this app please say hi on my number 0769943414. Please send me a Hi please

Zozo2505

I also need help with that 😫.

Bee.

No matter what i tell my parents they won't listen to me , i have a boyfriend i love so much but they told me too leave him because he is older then me and i don't have taste when it comes to men .i'm 19 and my boyfriend is 21 .i really need help how to convince my parents that i really love this guy

July 8, 2022, 3:24 p.m.

Latest Reply
Preet

Awa there's nothing wrong your boyfriend is only two years older than you where are you gonna find another guy who's your age maybe go to an outing with your parents and your boyfriend express your feeling's to each other show your parents that you and the guy love each other and they will think about your happiness and see you and the guy are serious about each other

Robiey

I think you should show them that you can manage your life with them perfectly while having your boyfriend That he will never be a distraction to your future

Lacute

Mara love is not by age

Looking For Tips On How To Tell My Strict Parents That I'm Now Dating..How Can I Tell Them In Good Manner..??

March 20, 2022, 8:58 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hi Springster, talking to your parents can be hard. Try making an appointment with your mom, dad or both of them. Tell them that there's something that you've been thinking about that you would like to discuss and give them a date. On the day of the meeting you going to do something called, "the sandwich". Your start with telling them that you want to make them proud (it's important to stress), don't want o disappoint them and that you're focused on doing well in school. But you also need peers and to connect with people outside of the family and school. Then you tell them that you are dating. Stress that your relationship will not affect your education and that you are still determined to do well and make them proud and hope that this doesn't change their opinion of you. End off with telling them that if you grades falter or if you veer off course you will stop seeing your boyfriend. Because all you want is for them to be proud of you. You can also bring along someone in the family that you consider to be an ally who will have your back during the conversation and mediate. Also be prepared that things may not go as you'd like.

My mom is the second kind of nature. Getting her to talk about sensitive topics is like trying to keep a dog from bucking. Yes I do love love my mom,and she encouges me about my studies and the good Lord.But sometimes I really just want us to talk about girl stuff,be best of friends,take walks together.But the more I try to build a relationship with her,its like am making things worse..I really don't know what to do anymore.

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

My mom is the second kind of nature. Getting her to talk about sensitive topics is like trying to keep a dog from bucking. Yes I do love love my mom,and she encouges me about my studies and the good Lord.But sometimes I really just want us to talk about girl stuff,be best of friends,take walks together.But the more I try to build a relationship with her,its like am making things worse..I really don't know what to do anymore.

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Springster thanks for your comment. Try talking to your mom about how you feel. She might not know that you see her as unapproachable. Try to also see things from her point of view in order to know how to approach her. Good luck Springster!

My mom is so difficult to tall with becouse first she doesnt want to listen becouse she thinks she's always ryt n sometimes i feel lyk she doesnt me near her so with dat type of attitude i cant communicate with her

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Zendeya, we are sure many other Springsters can relate with you. Many parents feel like their views are right and there is no other way. It's important to get into our parents' heads and understand why parents believe the things they do. Once you understand, show your mother that you are aware of her reasoning and then tell her about what you feel and why too. Meeting your parents in the middle can be help nurture understanding and sympathy in relationships. We know this is difficult, but it's definitely worth a try. Also, you can try talking to other adults that you trust about your mom. Maybe they can help you approach her. We hope this helps you.

my mom is a difficult woman to talk to she's very strict. talking to her about sensitive topics is hard

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

Latest Reply
Tintswalo2808_

She's definitely like my mom Everytime i try to talk to her she pisses me of i don't knw what to do

Hi guys i have a problem im pregnant and my b.f have'nt told his family yet.what worries me is that they love the mother of his first child im still hiding when im going to his house

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

Latest Reply

if ur man luvs u theres no prob I wish I could be u

if ur man luvs u theres no prob I wish I could be u

my aunt is alwaiz grumpy im scared of talkung to her abt girl's stuff eg going to periods help me

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

Latest Reply
Robiey

If you really need her help you must sit down with her Tell her you need someone to trust She will definitely understand then start to help you through your girl journey

My mother is a very strict person she want be to be perfect do all the chores at home and I hate washing dishes I can do all the chores at home but not washing dishes at home even though my granny the way she talks to me its loike they are hating me they always swere at me with strong language

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

Hy springsters I hv a strit mother who do not sit down with m and talk about girls staff I stay at home all day if she I not at work she does not allow m to data or go out with friends bt when I got a chance to go out of th house I go and meet my friends or boyfriend and came back home on time if my mother gets to known that I would b home less so I hv to do my things secretly I don't know wht to do plz help m on how to make my mom understand that I hv grown that I'm 17

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Springster, we understand how tough it can be sometimes to have strict parents. Please understand that our parents make some rules in order to protect and keep us safe. If you are finding it difficult to talk to your mother maybe you can tell a trusted adult or sibling and you all can sit down and talk about the issues that are frustrating you. What is important is that you communicate honestly with your mother.

Hy springsters I hv a strit mother who do not sit down with m and talk about girls staff I stay at home all day if she I not at work she does not allow m to data or go out with friends bt when I got a chance to go out of th house I go and meet my friends or boyfriend and came back home on time if my mother gets to known that I would b home less so I hv to do my things secretly I don't know wht to do plz help m on how to make my mom understand that I hv grown that I'm 17

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Springster, we understand how tough it can be sometimes to have strict parents. Please understand that our parents make some rules in order to protect and keep us safe. If you are finding it difficult to talk to your mother maybe you can tell a trusted adult or sibling and you all can sit down and talk about the issues that are frustrating you. What is important is that you communicate honestly with your mother.

Hi Anonymous am Mpumiza and I would like to tell you that you are not alone..My Mom is so much like yours.. She is very much overprotective over me, she tells me am not allowed to go outside, have friends,date and sometimes have friends.. I cant understand why they cant allow us to make mistakes so that we can grow from them.. I am turning 18 in few weeks but it doesn't show the way I am treated.. few weeks ago my Mom found out that I have a Boyfriend and she went crazy on me..she took my Phone, I became grounded for no reason and also I was told to choose between my family and The guy.. like she does everything in her power to make sure that she has control over my life reason being? I don't know.. so dear just be strong and hope for the best..

mine too I am 21 years old I am always indoors I dont even have a boyfriend. one day I durf through internet and I came across sex videos and now I always masturbate I am scared I might lose my virginity plz help how can I stop this?

she mu bestie we are always together I normally obey her rules so that I dont get her crossed

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

Latest Reply
Atalia

So ketlareng rapela shomi

Atalia

So can you really loos your virginity by mubestieng and you girl STOP it 😦😟😟🤯

I feel rileased

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

Pity I don't have any friends as I am not an outdoor person I'd rather be in bed reading something

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

Latest Reply
Anam

Me2

How do you tell your strict parents that your pregnant?

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

How do you tell your strict parents that your pregnant?

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

Latest Reply
Sweetie

I'm 15 and lm pregnant I don't know how to tell my parents

myssmisterigyrl2

Young girls STOP getting PREGNANT!! You too young 😠😠😠

Anam

Yess!!myssmystrygirl12

My mom is really strict , but what can I do to reason with her sometimes?

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

My grandmother doesn't believe in those spiritual church and my friend said that I have a spiritual husband but when I ask my grandmother to go at my friends church she refuse and I haven't told her that I have a spiritual husband and my mother is deaf she won't understand what I'm trying to say please help me sisters

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Beauty217, everyone has different belief systems and no one can stop you from believing in what you want to believe in. If you are not harming anyone with your faith, then we don't see what could be the problem. Find out from your grandmother why she doesn't want you to go to that church and consider her reasons. Explain your reasons as well and maybe even have someone come in from the church if that is appropriate. It's always good to discuss and share both views. At the end of the day, it will be your choice to go or not to go.

Atalia

YOU Go BECAUSE A Spirit husband si a very very siriase thing 😧 and rapela 😧😱

Guyz I on had this guy who said he loved ,bit I think for my body😑😑 but my parents think he is a gud guy😐what should I do??

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Hey. .I betrayed my parents's trust..I need help restoring that trust back😢😢😭😭😭

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

My mom is very strict and won't let me go out with my friends,How can I get her to let her let me go out with my friends and she does not also want me to get in relationships how can I get let her accept that I am dating?

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hi Thato2000 We understand that it must be hard to see your friends go out while you are not. Sometimes our parents try to protect us from things which we can't see. Make time and sit with her, tell how you feel.We hope this helps Springster.

Hi there I am 21 years old I just wanted to know how I can make up actually the thing is my parents found out I am on birth controls I wasn't on birth controls for any other reason as they think it is the reason why I was on birth controls was for my weight gain but somehow they just don't believe me at all Nd I don't blame them for not believing me coz anyone could of thort something else because of tht me and my parents aren't talking..because of something stupidity I'm not allowed to go out at all ...I feel like I want to get married

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

My dads very strict I can't go out with friends and I'm not allowed to have a bf ,lots of guys asked me out but then I say yes and we hang out sometimes but he doesn't know and I'm scared to tell him because I think he might think other things about me and I really like some of the guys I dated should I tell him or should I just keep it secret?

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Springster! Sorry for the delay, I had some technical issues. I have hidden your comment to protect your privacy. I am pleased you felt able to share your thoughts, it's a really brave first step. Have you thought about talking to an adult that you can trust about this? This could be anyone from your parents/grandparents, a relative like an aunt, a neighbour or teacher. Sadly, we can't talk to you directly but you can get extra advice from CHILDLINE SA. They can offer you counselling over the phone. You do not need to give your name and can call them 24/7. Their toll free helpline is : 0800 055 555 or check out https://www.childlinesa.org.za/ you will receive the support you need, by a friendly person trained to help you in a confidential way. Take care.

This is such a great thing to know on ur daily basis

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.