#AskSpringster: How to improve your relationship with your mom

Here are all the tips

Your thoughts (38)

This week's question on the #AskSpringster campaign comes from Andisiwe who is struggling to bond with her mother.

Andisiwe is 16 years-old and she is in a relationship with a boy in her neighbourhood. They are very into each other but sometimes she has problems with him and she feels like there is no one to talk to. She wants to discuss her relationship problems with her mother, but she does not have a very good relationship with her. How can she build a better bond with her mother so she can have conversations about the relationship and other issues in her life?

This is some advice Springsters had for Andisiwe.

Hi Springster,

We have all been through it, being shy to talk to our mother about the things that really matter to us. There are ways where you can start improving your relationship with your mom.

We spoke to a few Springsters, and these are the tips that they had:

Set up a time every week to bond, whether it is through going for a jog or cooking, spending time together bonding will make it easier for you to chat about the difficult topics.

Show your mom that you love and appreciate her such as making her coffee and tea - it will also help to soften her up.

Choose the right time and place – if you can see she is tired, don’t bring up touchy topics, because she won’t be in the mood to respond and that will just be demotivating for you

Find out more advice by visiting facebook.com/heyspringsterza

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Your thoughts

i find it very difficult talking to my mother because. .I once tried it and she just became very negative and very weird..I feel so left out..its like I don't have any parents at all

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hello maidi We are very to hear that. Try different ways to talk to your mom. How about you make her tea and ask her if she needs anything else. Surprise her by doing something that she does every day and tell her to relax. Then try to talk to her. Let us know if this works for you. Goodluck Springster.We love you.

Hello just go to her and let her sit down and tell her everything about your life like u talking go your friends

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

My mom she's always shouting so i don't have time to ask her abt my dad bcz i really need to knw how they broke up with dad and where is he ryt nou bcz am suffering lyk serious

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hi Molotsane, try to catch your mom at a good time like when she's not busy, or some time during the weekend whenever she's relaxed. Then you can open up to her and tell her how you feel and the things you want to know. If you feel like you really can't talk to her, perhaps you can ask another family member who is willing to talk to you.

Me and my mom have a good relationship i feel like im wth my frnds whn im wth her We can tlk abt my bf and she told me how to handle a man and she is open thats wt i like abt her

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

Constantly fighting with my little brother,he takes my stuff n when I ask him he would b rude towards me call me names n it will eventually end up him man handling me..Our mother died 10 years ago,our father didn't raised us only provided when necessary. I've always been there for them but now I regret all the choices I took

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

She can take time or spend more time with her mother and ask her how will she feel if she hears that she's in a relationship and she's starting to date if the answer is positive she can tell her then but if the answer is negative she can try to talk to someone else like older sister or aunt

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Springster, such great advice! That makes sense, because whatever happens she has someone to talk to at the end of the day.

She can take a time and tell her mother so that her mother can help her and give her some advice to deal with this........I don't think her mom can judge Andisiwe

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

Her should advice her during this difficult time

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

Her mother should advice her during this difficult time

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

hii

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

hii

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

I also wanna share my thoughts with my mom but she's always furious about everything, me telling her about my love life will make her more furious and frustrated

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

I wish I had that chance to share everything with my late Mom but it wasn't that easy because I was the disgrace to her .She did all the best for forme but I am a lesbian and I can't change that ..

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Yanzo, we're really sorry that you had to go through something as hard as losing your mother. We can only imagine how difficult this was and probably still is for you. Please do consider speaking to another trusted adult though. It's important that you discuss and go through the feelings of loss and mourning and it's also really important for you to talk to someone about any struggles you might be going through as a LGBTQI individual. We know that this may be difficult, but please remember to always stay true to yourself and never change who you are for others. As people we shouldn't have to suffer because of who you love. Talk to a trusted adult like a teacher or a relative or otherwise you can also call the counsellors from the Gay and Lesbian Network Helpline. They are available Friday to Sunday, 18:00 to 22:00 and you can contact them on their National Hotline: 0 8 6 0 3 3 3 3 31

Hi,I'm 14 years old I'm currently in a relationship but my parents don't know I'm scared to introduce my boyfriend to my parents What do I do??

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

she is your mom and she loves you even though you dont see it just talk to her

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

Hi ladies m new here so here's my prb I'm 26 n I'm a mother of 1 n me n my Bby daddy we have broke up wen my son was 2years old so nw m in a CRU's relationship with someone n we want to live together thing is idk how to tel my parents.... And m de oldest lady at home n doz who came after me r young n dey live with their BFz so I just don't knw how can I confront my parents abt diz plz help

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

U should never judge a book by it's cover

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

HELLO GUYS I HAVE A PROBLEM HERE ME ND MY BABY MAMA WE BROKE UP LAST WEEK SO I WANT HER BACK IN MY LIFE BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GO BACK TO HER SO PLEASE HELP ME TO GET HER BACK GUYS PLEASE

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Latest Reply

If she really matters to you , You will find a Way..Go and talk to her n tell her how you feel

Hi Springster, the only way to see if this is a possibility is for you to go and talk to your baby mama and tell her why and how much you want her in your life. Be honest about how you feel about her and the relationship altogether.

Try to talk to him

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Hello girls,I'm a 15 year old girl and my mom just found out that I'm dating and so my mom wants me to start preventing myself from getting pregnant. When I told my bestfriend this she said that I must not agree to do it because it'll seem like my mom is allowing me to sleep around with guys,but I think that it's better safe than sorry. Any advice on what to do?I really don't to lose my bestie

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Latest Reply

tʀʏ 2 sքɛaҡ աɨtɦ ʏօʊʀ mom

Hi girls I'm 14 years my boyfriend wants to have sex should I tell my mother or not I'm scared

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Latest Reply

I think you should try to talk to your mom

Hey. So I'm in a relationship and I really want to tell my mother cause I feel like we share alot but I find it hard talking to her about me in a relationship. Please help...

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

dear Springster i'm 20 years old n i have a difficult problem with my mum i can communicate with her most of the time, its been a year now but we are staying in one area she drinks a lot of alcohol everyday but she dont wanna do anything for me. she kicked me out of her house when i was 17 years old n now m staying alone n m renting. the truth is......i didnt hold grujes because i love her a lot. There are so many things i want to tell her n i have so many difficult challenges m facing ryt now so what can i do to makes her to love me WHAT CAN I DO?

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

-Hey Springster, I'm A 16 Years Old Girl. My Problem is Me & My Mom Can't Really Communicate Like other parents do with their children. I have a boyfriend and My Mom knows, but she doesn't approve it. The thing is I Love this guy😭 and have been dating for 2 years now. We've tried to breakup for the sake of my own safety because my mom keeps hitting me every time she see me with him, but we always find ourselves together again. Now, we've been dating in a secret because I'm scared if my mom finds out that we're still dating, she'd hit me. I want to tell Mom that me & my boyfriend love each other and I don't want to break up with him but I'm scared that she'll hit me & she's always furious. Please help me, how do I approach my Mom with this matter?😭💔

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Katsow, thank you so much for reaching out to us with your story. Communicating with your parents is really important, but if you find that you are unable to do so then there are always other adults that you can approach. Your biological parents don't always have to be the only people you can speak to. See if you can find another trusted adult like an aunt, grandmother, or teacher that you can talk to. Please do not be afraid to ask for help if you need it. Childline SA counselors are really great people to call when you are in need of help. They offer counselling over the phone, in person and online. You don't need to give them your name and can contact them any time of the day or night. Contact them if you are scared, feel alone and if something is happening to you, or someone you know. They are here to help you! Don't forget you can contact them on their 24/7 Toll Free Helpline: 08 000 55 555 for help. Check out their website on http://www.childlinesa.org.za as well as their Facebook and Twitter page for useful information.

Hi me and my mother doesn't have a clode relationship although it never bothers me but sometimes I wish I wasn't the last child cause even with my big sister we don't talk much

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

I love my mom very much, but I it is hard for me to talk to her about such stuff even though she tells me to she takes things very harshly

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Hi Springster! I have a really hard time when I have to talk to my mom. I don't trust my mom at all because when ever I tell her something she always tells my dad. Please tell me what to do i have ran out of ideas. HELP! HELP!HELP! HELP! HELP!

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

Hi everyone I don't have a good relationship with my mom...am the middle child so every mistake is put on me...when I was 9 I gave away my virginity to her boyfriend just to make her boyfriend stay with her...but she found the truth after 2 yrs😭she already had a child with that guy..but he was arrested for other rapes..then she said I most not tell anyone abt this matter n she will not open a case...I was so scared n just agrees coz she promised to kick me out of the house...n she started treating me bad...n I just kept quiet its still haunting me n she is going on treating me bad...she gets mad every time even if its not my fault.... I really can't cope with this situation I need help Springsters

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hello Springster, thank you for sharing this with us, its very brave of you. We are so sorry that this happened to you but its important to know what happened to you is not your fault and you should not blame yourself. It can really help to speak to someone else you trust in your life, such as another relative, teacher or school counsellor. You can also call Childline SA as they will offer you counselling over the phone, in person and online. They are here to help you! Don't forget you can contact them on their 24/7 Toll Free Helpline: 08 000 55 555 for help. Visit their website on http://www.childlinesa.org.za as well as their Facebook and Twitter page for useful information.