The art of letting go

Sometimes there isn’t a second chance — and that’s okay.

Your thoughts (44)

We’re half way into the year. It’s the time when a lot of people reflect on the resolutions they made at the beginning of the year. Every year, we tell ourselves all of the ways that we’re going to change. It’s important to be the best ‘you’ that you can be, to make plans and set goals. But it’s also important to reflect on how we treat others, and June is the perfect time to do that.

Story time!
Lelo and Thabiso used to be best friends, until Lelo’s parents transferred her to a different school. At first, Thabiso and Lelo were able to maintain their friendship. Eventually, however, Lelo started making new friends at her new school and had less time to spend with Thabiso. “I felt like I was nobody to her,” sighed Thabiso. She felt angry that Lelo didn’t seem to care anymore.

If you were Thabiso, could you ever forgive Lelo and move on?

Well, you kinda have to. Things happen. People change. People grow apart. Part of growing up means realising that we can’t control the way other people act; we can only control our reaction to other people. It’s okay to grieve when someone hurts you. Breaking up with a best friend is awful — but it’s also important to let go of bitterness and negativity. So, what did Thabiso do? She told Lelo how she felt. And you know what? Lelo was surprised! She didn’t mean to hurt Thabiso, and she missed Thabiso too.

Their friendship changed and, even though things weren’t the same anymore, they made time to hang out and talk to each other. This is why it’s important to reach out to friends. Lelo invited Thabiso to one of her school parties, where she met Thabiso’s new friends.

They both love the Internet, and agreed that they will have daily chats on WhatsApp so they keep in touch no matter how busy life gets.

Share your feedback

Your thoughts

Mologadi

Hey.when it comes to letting go of someone,that's my worst weakness.i've been Inlove with this guy since January ,but my older sister never liked him a bit To a point where the guy can see that he's not being welcome at home ..he planned to pay lobola for me but due to my sister bad treatment, yesterday he decided to brake up with me bcoz he can't stand the treatment anymore but my heart is shattered I don't who to hate ,my sister or him..my heart can't let go of his name so easily 💔

July 1, 2022, 7:41 p.m.

...sometimes moving on is the best solution. try to make friends either so you won't fell left out.

March 20, 2022, 9:01 p.m.

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Your right!

To move on and forgive is a sign of maturing. And letting go is a sign of healing.

March 20, 2022, 9:01 p.m.

I always find it hard to move on no matter how much I'm hurt .. I've dates these guy for 1year6months now , and he's been hurting me that it's hard to have sex with him , and visiting him , but biggest issue is that I miss him , I blue's about him , life seems to be hard without him .... so there week I've been trying to mend thing , my Question is it safe to go back to him or he will continue doing the same thing

March 20, 2022, 9:01 p.m.

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It's very difficult to be in a relationship where there is no trust. I think when someone shows you who they are then you should believe them. I wouldn't suggest you try and mend things. If he's willing to change and treat you better then he will do so and he'll come to you and he'll initiate menting the relationship. It's okay to miss what you had but you need to love yourself enough to know you deserve better.

WELL TE BEST ADVICE I'D TELL YOU IS THAT *MISSING SOMEONE DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD TAKE HIM BACK *...HE'LL DO THE SAME THING AGAIN,,A LEOPARD NEVER CHANGES ITS SPOTS

am trying my best to move on but i can't. ..I've been dating this guy from January this year and his cheating...i found him two times in his flat with different girls but he always come and apologies because i love him so much and he claims to love me back but am always hurt and what's worse is that i told him to move on but he doesn't want at all...all he says no 1 will be happy with me while his not...how can I keep him out of my mind coz it's hard for let go of him

March 20, 2022, 9:01 p.m.

losing someone you've many years with is so hard, i mean you had a shoulder to lean on, someone to share secrets... Thabiso did a good thing expressing her feelings to Lelo so they could make-up and be friends again

March 20, 2022, 9:01 p.m.

I feel like i've lost my Bestfriend. She has been too close to this other new girl at our school and she even invited her to many functions she went to. Now i feel like i no longer exist to her or something. I honestly don't know what to do.

March 20, 2022, 9:01 p.m.

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I went threw the same thing. But I never liked the girl. So I said to myself , i'm not anymore going to run after anyone, i'm better off on my own. Now i have no worries

WELL WHEN I GOT TO HIGH SCHOOL I FOUND TWO BEST FRIENDS...WE HAD ALMOST THEN SAME HOBBIES BUT DIFFERENT BELIEFS OFCOS...BUT WEN TYM WENT ON WE NO LONGER VIBED WTH EACH OTHER BCZ THERE WAS JEALOUSY AROUND THE CIRCLE N ONE OF OUR FRIENDS LEFT...THE PROBLEM IS TT IM THE ONE IN BETWEEN AND NOW I HV TO choose BETWEEN THE TWO OF EM

March 20, 2022, 9:01 p.m.

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I had two friends and their names were Tyler and Cindy. We were also best friends. Eventually it was the end of the year . We kept in contact over whatsapp So when the year started we were in different classes . Me and Tyler was in one class and Cindy was in another. We were still bestfriends till I began to play netball. So Cindy also wanted to but Tyler kept on stopping her. So they said i should also walk with them during my lunch breaks. So i made time for them But sometimes they were angry at me because i never told them that i was going to play netball . I had to tell them everything I do , literally. So after a while Tyler got a crush on some boy and Cindy was close friends with him. Tyler never wanted us to go to the tree(because he hung out there during lunch breaks). So Cindy went now there often. And some intervals Cindy would never evens come tell us where she would be going and just went to the tree. So I felt it was unfair and Tyler had to choose . She chose me. So second term came and one the girls(which i never liked) decided to walk with us. So I told Tyler that I dont like this girl. So she did nothing about it. So she had to make a choice. She chose that girl. And now she's keeping herself big.

Real friendships won't require you to choose between one or the other. It is unfair to put you in the middle and you should communicate that you are friends with the both of them. You can be loyal to the both of them without them having to be friends and if they want you to choose between them then maybe you should think about the friends you have and why they want to be so controlling. Good luck and let me know how it goes.

I also had to find new friends after my bestie moved out of town it was awful

March 20, 2022, 9:01 p.m.

I'm currently un the same situation, my friend left for varsity & now we're not close anymore.This gave me a solution, i am going to reach out to her

March 20, 2022, 9:01 p.m.

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Glad you could find helpful information that is relevant to your situation. Reach out to her and let us know how it goes. Good luck

m current on the sane situation I love my friend a lot. so it happen that she did not make it in grade 10 I try my best not to leave her but always be her best but only to find that she start making new friends and forget about Me but I don't want to loose her

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

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Hi Springster. Have a conversation with her. It doesn't mean that you're in different grades and that you've made other friends that the two of you can't still be friends. Maybe you can hang out after school or during lunch breaks. Give it a try and see how it goes.

hy...i hv a problem when it comes to letting go...i become to attached that wen it's tym to let go it feels like am losing a part of me along the way and tat really hurts ..that's y i dnt easily forgive because they do it all over again... does ths,mean i hv trust issues???

March 20, 2022, 8:59 p.m.

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Hi Trunaj. Thanks for sharing your comment. It's okay to have a big heart and to love people openly the problem is that it leaves us open to disappointment. Try letting people into your life after they've proven themselves and shown consistency.

I have been inlove with this guy. He's a cool guy and he loves me well I thought he did🙆 he broke me💔 he started posting pictures of him and his girl after she broke him😖 they are no back together and I feel so heart broken. I'm even scared to go out and now that creates conflict between me and my parents😭💔. Please help. I need to regain my confidence back and be able to face him. I want to but I can't, tears just flow down every time I see one of them.

March 20, 2022, 8:59 p.m.

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Hi Andinayo. Thanks for sharing your comment with us. This must be a very difficult time for you, break ups are never easy especially when they leave to rekindle a romantic relationship with their ex. It's okay to be sad and feel like crying but I'd recommend you not let this take over you and that you try and do things that will bring some joy to your life. He was a part of your life but not your entire story! You will have a wonderful life without him it jy=ust takes time to get over the sadness. I'd say you ignore him for a while you don't have to see the two of them together, block him on social media and start doing things that are good for you and your happiness. Good luck

Hey there,i once had a friend called malebo.She was my best friend back then..i

March 20, 2022, 8:59 p.m.

Hey there,i once had a friend called malebo.She was my best friend back then..i

March 20, 2022, 8:59 p.m.

Hi, I have a friend we'll I had a who was my best friend friend but things just went south. I am always the fight for our friendship to work and I feel like she doesn't give in the effort. So one day I decided to not speak to her and as time went on she still did not realize what point I was trying to get across all I want her to do is admit she's wrong and I want my best friend back, what should I do?

March 20, 2022, 8:59 p.m.

i had a frend whom we've spent 7years together but now we r in different schools although our schools are neughbours but we no longer contact each other anymore i want to reconnect with her again pls help what to do.....

March 20, 2022, 8:59 p.m.

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Hi Springster. Thanks for your comment here's an article I think might help http://za.heyspringster.com/sections/my-life/kiss-and-make

hi guys i camt let go of ma babe daddy its been 2years nw without dating but m stil inlove wit him wat cn i do 2 stop dis love?

March 20, 2022, 8:58 p.m.

Hy guys.. i need advirse..i has two frnds Wendy n Nolwazy... well it means Wendy was dating some guys who is my crush..she chetted on him n the guy dumped her ..he asked me if we could be frnd n i said yes coz i lv him...now our frndships with wendy is not the same anymore...she blames me for their broke up with her bf as if i'm da one who said she must cheat😈😈now we nolonger talk...she ignores me in class...njr...kmele ngenzen guys...wat should i do???

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey, Springster thanks for your comment. Try talking to your friend and tell her how you feel. Also, try explaining your point of view and be open to hearing hers. If the conversation doesn't go well, you need to be prepared to let your friendship take a break until you are both emotionally ready to rebuild.

hi guys i need advise i dont knw wat to do am dating a guy i lv him so much he said we must broke up coz he said i always swear him nd shouting so i still love i dont wanna broke up wth him nd i thought he found someone dat y he said we must broke up plz tell me

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

hi guys i need advise i dont knw wat to do am dating a guy i lv him so much he said we must broke up coz he said i always swear him nd shouting so i still love i dont wanna broke up wth him nd i thought he found someone dat y he said we must broke up plz tell me

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

Latest Reply

Gal you need to ensure communication in a relationship. But it was wrong of you shout and swear at him. Maybe he got tired of the treatment he gets from you, that's why he ended your relationship.

Maybe u can apologize sincerely and take responsibility for your actions. Then he might give you another chance.

Yoh apologize only nothing else

I have been in love with thic guy for 7 months now but i just realised that i still fancy my ex boyfriend, as much as i love him he doesnt want to understand me but my current bea is the best thing that ever happened to me....wat should i do

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

I have been with this guy for a yearnd two months we broke up last year nd we saw each other thrice in this year and he was the one who broke my V and as we saw each other in this year we had our last shot of having sex with each other and we both really love each other and both our families are cool with us dating and my mother is very over him and his mother with me and we talked bout what went down in our relationship and the reason we broke up but we both still love each other but he told me tht he doesn't want to go through the same path but we still chat to each other and now i dont know if itstime to let go or should i fight for a second chance

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hello Marshay, it must not be easy for you to go through all this. Try to talk to your ex-boyfriend and explain to him the situation and how you feel. Make him be open enough to express himself as well so that you two can make a decision about your relationship. We hope this helps and please let us know what happened after you talked to him.We wish you nothing but the best.

Hi...I was dating this guy for a year now. Two days ago we broke up. He confessed and said that he never loved me, was using me for sex—trying to get offer his ex. I feel so used and yet so useless. He said everything was fake. He has completely changed...and I can feel the hatred he has now. He's making me a fool—making fun of me. I can see his true colours now. I can't stop crying. I try but I can't stop. I feel so unworthy. I feel really depressed. Please help with tips on how to cope cause I feel like I don't want to marry in the future. The pain is unbearable at the moment. Assist on how I can forget him.

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

Hi I'm good at letting things go e especially bad memories ,recently I found out that my 7 years boy friend has a wife ,of which he promised to marry me but I know promises are made to be broken but I seem to struggle to let that go I thought it was gonna be easy because before he married he WhatsApped me insulted me and all that whenever I'm trying to let all that go my heart is yarning for revenge please help I don't want to hurt myself more

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Good

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Wow good

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

I want to use this medium to thank Robinsonbuckler@ {{ hotmail. }} com because he brought back my Ex husband. my husband left me for his ex girlfriend he had before he married me it's a difficult situation for me I called and beg him to come back he refused he said he don't love me anymore I tried every possible way to get him back all was in vain I told my friend about it and she gave me Robinson buckler email and I emailed him and told him my problem and he told me what to do and I did it and he cast a love spell which brought back my husband within 24 hours.

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.