What is consensual sex?

Your body, your rules!

Your thoughts (61)

Let’s talk about sex. It seems to be everywhere; in music videos, adverts, and social media. Even if we are not thinking about sex, our body goes there anyway! We reach puberty and our bodies change, including getting our periods. It’s our body's way of saying it can make babies, even if we are not ready to.

This brings us to a very important word when it comes to sex: consent. You should only have sex when you want to, and when you are ready to; this is when you are able to give your consent. Sex must not be forced, like your bae pressuring you into it or threatening to dump you if you don’t do it. And you can always change your mind at any point - even during! Bae needs to respect this.

“No” is an important word to use in all areas of our lives, especially when it comes to sex because sex can result in babies and sexually transmitted infection, including HIV. This is why it’s important for you to be the person who decides when to have sex — or to start having sex with a new partner.

Every girl has the right to say NO and for it to be respected. What if you agree to it but start feeling uncomfortable or get nervous? It’s is okay to stop. Not only is it okay, but it is also your right as well! Lastly, when you feel ready to start doing it, it’s really worth speaking to an adult you trust or even going to a clinic or pharmacy to talk to a nurse or counsellor. This way, you’ll have all the information you need about how to enjoy sex safely including minimising chances of STIs.

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I agree But isn't it going to be awkward 😕😕

June 27, 2022, 11:52 p.m.

No Must Always Be Respected Anytime BT Anyone

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

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Nomthawelanga

That true like it

IF A GUY TRULY LOVE YOU HE WONT DUMP BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT READY HE EILL WAIT FOR YOU .

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

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Yah its true he suppose to wait until you get ready if he's really love's you

True dat + sex is how we all came here so we can't quite call it yucky but we can say no When we think our emotions still need to adapt and our body is not ready to have someone else body inside it and even if we do have sex condomise because you never ever know if there will be a baby landing up inside you and you aren't ready for it yet

Yah its true if he really love you he suppose to wait until you get ready

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

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We are never ready for sex you just have to make peace with it n do it cos it's part of the relationship. If you don't give him he will find it somewhere else and you will lose him

There's no such thing as we are never ready and we cannot prepare for sex it just happens. I disagree. Not only is it a part of the relationship it's an important part that xpould either make it or brake it. The first time doesn't have to be ransom it should be prepared for. And if you "don't give him" as you say and he finds or looks for it somewhere else it shows he was not into the relationship in the first place and eben if you slept with him he was gonna find it somewhere else. That's the nature of it. Point is you shouldn't be pressured to do it it has to be your vhpive and your first time can be how you want it to be not how others had it.

Yes that's true

relationship is not all abt sex , and if ur bae loves u he will never try to force you or get ur mind filled with dity sex stuff .

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

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Lash. Sometimes its not all about dirty stuff as you put it. Maybe he's trying to make u understand sex n prepare you on what to expec wen u have it Anywai sex is very great if your man knows his stuff.. N sex is not a crime but a natural thing we going to experience

Hi Springster. Sex isn't dirty. Especially when there are two consenting partners who love one another. I do agree that you shouldn't have sex until you're ready. You should only do it if you're 100% sure you want to take your relationship to the next level.

I'm having the same problem because I really love my bae we have 8 months dating now but I'm not yet ready to have sex with him so guys I need ur help

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

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Hi Springster. You don't have to feel afraid It's normal to feel a bit nervous because sex is a very big step in a relationship. Don't rush, you don't have to go to the next level until you're 100% sure. Remember when you do make the decision to have sex, use a condom which you can find for free at your nearest clinic or doctor.

wowh 8 months gl...why are yaa scared

wowh 8 months gl...why are yaa scared

relationship is about love can I ask something

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

At the age of 15 my first lover said having sex with him would prove how much I love him.Because I was dearly in love with him I made out with him. Ut hurt me at first, but what made matters worse was tge mere fact that after sex he no longer called ne, byt he would call whenever he wanted sdx. That destroyed me, in a sebse that I dudb't want to date anyine after we broke up. It's imoirtsnt to have sex whrn you're ready of you'll spend mist if your time regretting iypt

March 20, 2022, 8:59 p.m.

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Theres no such thing its either u enjoying it or u dont.mayb u ddnt know the styles thts y u couldnt keep him

move on he's ain't worth it .you will find someone else who's better

Do what you want honey this is your life

I think that I wanna have sex and lose my virginity to my hubby thats one day when I get married the bible says so and as a Christian I listen to the lords word thats also ok right?

March 20, 2022, 8:58 p.m.

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Hi Scarlett. Yes that's perfectly okay. If you decide to have sex when you're married and even if you change your mind, you should have sex when you're ready, whenever that time comes.

Hi,I'm 14and I am a virgin. I love masturbating I am curious about sex

March 20, 2022, 8:58 p.m.

Yes that's okay I agree with u

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

wow that's gud peeps .... when mii bar ask mii that"baeb uh want us to do sex"uh always says "NO" cz um not ready...uh learn more tu your massage

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

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Hey Springster, this is great to hear! We're glad you are able to use the power of your voice to say no when you aren't ready. Good on you Springster!

Why sex hurts? Its based to every one to answer

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

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Hey Springster, have a look at the "Why sex hurts" article. It will give you the different reasons for why sex hurts. If you can't find it anymore, you can copy and paste the link below. http://za.heyspringster.com/sections/my-body/ouch/

Why does sex hurt

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

Is ur period support t to go more than 5 days

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

Hi! I have a problem its been long days I experience a stomach cramps nd pains...it might be what?

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

I used to go to my period 3 times before I had a sex with my boyfriend we had a sex on may on June my period was more than a week. Is that normal??

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

I am scared to have sex because my mom says I will get pregnant at a young age.

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

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She is ain't lying

You should just use a condom

you are so cruel how can you say such comment just became you are a loose girls doesn't mean you have to destroy other people's life

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

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Hello honeybabe What seems to be the problem so that we can help you? Please let us know which comment you are referring to.

Hey springster I have a problem everytime l get to sleep l tend to dream having sex with my boyfriend and when l wake up l am wet and this have been going on for a long time and now l have noticed that l dnt have a feelings for him anymore and l wanna break up with him because l dont love him anymore and this worries me because he loves me so much how can l tell him this without hurting his feelings

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

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Hey Springster, thinking of sex and becoming wet is totally normal. It's the body's way of lubricating your vagina before penetration. Also Springster, we think that if you want to leave you boyfriend, you have to find the courage to tell him. You should not be with anyone that you won't like being with anymore. Whichever way you tell him, it will hurt. You should probably break up with somewhere at a public space so that if anything happens you are around other people. Please let us know how everything works out. Good luck!

Hey springstars I would like to know how accurate is the oral hiv test .

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

#Its our right take back the power coz the power is in our hands we are much stronger than what the people think

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Hey guyz I need Help I think Im ready to have sex.Im 19 years it my first time dating. Im dating a guy he is 27 years old it been 4 months dating we hardly see it each other.When we started dating he was supporting,calling making tym for us.He did that for a month .I talked to him and said Im gonna have sex when Im ready.After that he started to be scarce like he doesnt call.I call him the way he talk it like Im annoying he will answer those questions and hang up .And Im like why hes so like that? Im confused.On the end of the third month I called told him I wanted to see him so we can talk he agreed taje me we go to hes room.We changed sheets in hes bed and he go bath.While I was thinking how will I talk to him about him being scarce and boom it didnt happen.We just chatting and he started making a move we kissed took off clothes he sucked my vagina ang when he followed buy wanti to put hes penis in I stoped him when he got tip in I hold his penis and he was pushing by force and I started to scream and said im gonna cry for rape he step aside and i asked to go home we go on the way we were not talking Arrived home few hour he sent Whatsapp msg asking if Im ok I said yes he ignored me after that till i called him after 2 weeks asking if hes ok when i asked him when are we gonna meet he said he dont knw when I said hw about tomorrw he said he was gonna be busy And I said he must inform me when hes ok till today he didnt

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Continuing: I think he doent lv me he wanna make lv to me but I love him and Im not happy about the eay our ralationship is and im scared to talk to him can u advice guys plzzz

Hi Springster, thank you for sharing your story with us, it is a really brave thing for you to do. You should only have sex when you want and when you are ready to, this is when you give your consent. Sex must not be forced nor, should it involve someone ignoring you because you are not ready. The person you're in a relationship with should be loving, communicative and open to you.The right person will respect your decisions and wishes whatever they may be. It is important that you speak to people close to you that you can trust when you are concerned. This could be a parent, a relative, a friend, a teacher or a school counsellor. You can also call Childline SA for free and access a counsellor. They will offer you counselling over the phone, in person and online. You don't need to give them your name and can contact them any time of the day or night. They are here to help you! You can contact them on their 24/7 Toll Free Helpline: 08 000 55 555 for help. Check out their website on http://www.childlinesa.org.za as well as their Facebook and Twitter page for useful information."

Hey guyz I need Help I think Im ready to have sex.Im 19 years it my first time dating. Im dating a guy he is 27 years old it been 4 months dating we hardly see it each other.When we started dating he was supporting,calling making tym for us.He did that for a month .I talked to him and said Im gonna have sex when Im ready.After that he started to be scarce like he doesnt call.I call him the way he talk it like Im annoying he will answer those questions and hang up .And Im like why hes so like that? Im confused.On the end of the third month I called told him I wanted to see him so we can talk he agreed taje me we go to hes room.We changed sheets in hes bed and he go bath.While I was thinking how will I talk to him about him being scarce and boom it didnt happen.We just chatting and he started making a move we kissed took off clothes he sucked my vagina ang when he followed buy wanti to put hes penis in I stoped him when he got tip in I hold his penis and he was pushing by force and I started to scream and said im gonna cry for rape he step aside and i asked to go home we go on the way we were not talking Arrived home few hour he sent Whatsapp msg asking if Im ok I said yes he ignored me after that till i called him after 2 weeks asking if hes ok when i asked him when are we gonna meet he said he dont knw when I said hw about tomorrw he said he was gonna be busy And I said he must inform me when hes ok till today he didnt

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hi Springster, thank you for sharing your story with us, it is a really brave thing for you to do. You should only have sex when you want and when you are ready to, this is when you give your consent. Sex must not be forced nor, should it involve someone ignoring you because you are not ready. The person you're in a relationship with should be loving, communicative and open to you.The right person will respect your decisions and wishes whatever they may be. It is important that you speak to people close to you that you can trust when you are concerned. This could be a parent, a relative, a friend, a teacher or a school counsellor. You can also call Childline SA for free and access a counsellor. They will offer you counselling over the phone, in person and online. You don't need to give them your name and can contact them any time of the day or night. They are here to help you! You can contact them on their 24/7 Toll Free Helpline: 08 000 55 555 for help. Check out their website on http://www.childlinesa.org.za as well as their Facebook and Twitter page for useful information."

I think the moderator has said it all Do you boo

Hii pees iam new here is it true that if someone take you virginity you must bleeding?

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Hii pees iam new here is it true that if someone take you virginity you must bleeding?

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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No babe , that's only a myth Yes it may be painful but you don't have to bleed for your body to tell you that you ain't a virgin anymore

s on y

Hi guys I'm 13 I don't know if I'm a virgin or not because me and my sister and two cousin boys we were playing a game then we all started kissing and removing our clothes.My cousin put his penis it touched my vigina emediatly when he tried to put it in I changed my mind then I told him to just to lick my vigina and I licked his penis and I regret wat i did *AM I STILL A VIRGIN*

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Yes .You are still a virgin because u ddnt have sex at all

Yes you are still because you did not have seks... His penis only touched you vigina.

Hi guys does finger fucking urself take away ur virginality

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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No i don't think so

How can a virgin get pregnant

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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The sperms swim quickly...

Hi guys I was out with my boyfriend and he told me to suck his thing n I am still a virgin then his sperms come out n I Solowed them n there is a chance of getting pregnant

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Hi I was a virgin until I had sex with my boyfriend while I was in my periods and he used a condom....so I wanna know if is it possible to get pregnant or not?

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.