The emotional risks of having sex early

Thuso shares her story

Your thoughts (156)

There are plenty of risks involved if you choose to have sex at an early age. Thuso lost her virginity when she was young and she’s shared her story with us. If you’re thinking you might be ready to have sex with your partner, it’s good to know other girls’ experiences too!

I am Thuso and my first sexual encounter happened when I was only 16. My first boyfriend was a guy from our neighbourhood. After 3 months of being together he persuaded me to have sex with him.

I truly knew back then that I wasn’t ready to have sex, but since I wanted to prove myself to him, I agreed anyway. The sad thing is, after what happened between us, he became distant. He was no longer answering my texts, and he suddenly didn’t want to meet with me anymore. I felt really used.

I began to start thinking about the reasons I first had sex and reflected on how this made me feel. After having sex, I felt like I lost control of my own body. I started to feel a little down, a sense of regret started to creep in, and I knew I needed to speak to someone before this feeling inside me got any worse.

My advice is always to make sure you are ready and don’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with.

I feared that I might completely lose grip on my studies, so I finally spoke to my big sister to let her know what happened. She is someone I can really trust and feel comfortable around. She told me not be too hard on myself and helped me realise that having sexual encounters at a young age entails a lot of risks, like feeling anxiety, regret, anger or guilt.

There are lots of emotions involved when you think about having sex so it is important you are aware of them, they aren’t all good ones! Most importantly, only have sex when you and your partner have had a conversation and you both feel ready to take the next step.

Looking for someone to talk to before you make this big decision? Call Love Life for advice: 0800 121 900 (P.S It is free)

Learned something from Thuso’s story? Share your thoughts in the comments!

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Your thoughts

Cassey_008

your story made me regret why i had sex at an early age 🥺

Aug. 15, 2022, 4:17 p.m.

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Nawty-IMO

Sometimes we regret but at that moment we couldn't control our needs so try to not let it bother you

Jinx

Hi guys I'm new and I love your stories I have a feeling that I'm about to learn a lot

July 11, 2022, 5:27 p.m.

Mhh your story is like mine But we are still together

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

I'm also 16 and I was having a boyfriend who was nagging about sex each and every day and I've been telling him I'm not ready several times... But he didn't want to listen so I've decided to break up with him So I think I'm being fair after all...because this is my life, my body , my choice Virginity is treasure Shout out to girl power👊

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Jinx

GIRL POWER👊!

@jessica221

Girl power 🤜🏾🤛🏾

I also had a boyfriend whom I thought I loved and he also went on saying he loves me and we should create a future together and the only thing that confused me was that he knew I wasn't ready to have sex with him and that if I did both his parents and mine would never ever forgive us as they did not like the fact that we were dating...so this guy here tried he's like with me and when he did I thought about what could happened and that he was hurting me I so then told him to stop... We did not really have sex but the minute I realised its hurting I told him to stop....did I lost my virginity?...Does this mean am no longer a virgin?....and yes girl you're right about having those feeling I also had them and that lead to our break up,I broke up with him and hated all boys after that even today I still don't think I'll appreciatate being romanced by any....

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Ze2

U should go to the nearest clinic or hospital 🏥 to check

Hi guys I'm new here and it a very great place for us girls Well I need advise im 15 years old and my boyfriend is 21 years old well he's different I think .he knows that I'm a virgin and wishes /wants us to have sex I'm not ready yet .He's too serious about "us" he even introduced me to his parent and even tried engaging me but I told him its too early Is he the right guy for me?

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Nonhle dear, if you are not ready for something please don't do it. Actually my advice is you are still young to get married at your age, now it's a chance for you to think about your future, your career and many things that you will achieve in your life. And to make your parents to be proud of you girl.

Dear Nonhle If you are not ready to have sex don't do it because boys are untrustworthy a boy can say you are beautiful and you will feel like you are the only one beautiful in world but you must know that he is begging you to have sex with him and then after you will see him hugging another girl so my advice do it if you want to do if you don't want don't do it You can also talk to someone about this issue Thank you

Dear Nonhle... I'm also 15 years old.... But your boyfriend sounds like a bad influence on you,I would advise you to be careful around him..

Hi Nonhle ...do wht you think bt i advice you to becareful bcz boyz sounds good bt once u hv sex he will run to another gl i tell u cc

Jinx

You should be careful around this man and do what you think is right

Hi springster I'm new here I 'm dating a guy that am related to we have the same surname and we even have a child I love this guy and he love me too what must I do ?

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

I feel smthing moving in my stomach n i do some tests n im negative bt why cz i hear something moving inside me idnt knw what to do plz help me

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Im 19 years n im worried pregnancy tests are negative bt my body has changed now

Im 19 years n im worried pregnancy tests are negative bt my body has changed now

you should go see a doctor

Hey guys I'm 16 years old..my boyfriend is 20..he wants to have sex..I think I'm ready buh I'm scared of my parents. Wat should I do?!

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Never Do Anything that your parents warned you against. They're old and have a Lot of Experience about Life matters, so they know why it's not good for you to break your virginity with someone that you are not even assured that you gonna marry with. Because you're still very young (16&20), and so you don't know where life might put you

you are not ready!dating sum1 older than uu makes uu think u are old and mature enough!__don't do it bbe!don't do sumthng u'll regret later!

Uhm 17 nd my boyfriend want to have sex with me and uhm afraid nd u hmm not ready

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Please don't dare do it girl. That's your most Valuable thing in your life. You can lose all things ,but Not Virginity. It's your pride, it's your expensive Present for your future husband, so play safe, but don't play with that one

Please don't dare do it girl. That's your most Valuable thing in your life. You can lose all things ,but Not Virginity. It's your pride, it's your expensive Present for your future husband, so play safe, but don't play with that one

If you are not ready then you are not ready, don't do it and if he can't accept that that's his problem.You will find someone who will wait for you

I'm 19 years old My boyfriend and I had sex and it was my first time and ever since my body has changed ..... And we didn't use any protection so I'm very scared And I never ever had my periods so I'm a bit confused on how to tell/know if I'm pregnant or not Please help

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Best thing to do is to go check yourself in the clinic before stressing yourself but next time be careful and use protection babes.

Yesterday I visited my Boyfriend and then all his friends kept going out of the house one by one .. I knew that I actually went there to have Sex with him..But then I couldn't just jump into his Bed the worst part in his parents house.. I was ready to have seX with him but then I was embarrassed.The day even became worse when his aunty came in on us.. Then suddenly he's being ignorant towards me.. What I really to understand is Why is he ignoring me is it because we couldn't have Sex or is it because he's no longer interested in me??

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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It may be he is embarrassed that his aunty interrupted you or he feels like he has let you down.You know how boys are when they didn't 'deliver'.And if he's lost interest of you because you didn't have sex he is probably not worth it

Hi guys I wanna ask if is the any problem the thing is I don't enjoy sex at all please help

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Hello Ntombi .Personally I would say there is nothing wrong with you because in life there is a certain time for each and every thing and just maybe you simply not ready to take that step in life yet ... I too just a few months ago felt that way and I thought I had something wrong with me until now that I understand my body better and can control my feelings that I realised my boy works at its pace compared to that of others you see

Hy am possess ...I once dated a guy who's,older than me and early, this year and he was loving caring n,protective ....and he showed me lots,of love n,I fell into,his romance n he asked if I was a,vingin and I said yes but am not onto sex,stuff because am not ready n he promise me to do by,all means he,will,keep me in a safe side no harm no mistakes .so as I was in love wit him .....I told myself that I love him why not get it a try .....but deep down in side I,wasn't ready for all that stuff .....I just,wanted, to show him I,love him....but he is ignoring, me like nothing has happened whereby he took my viginity ..

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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We'll tjo let's take care of our future this mind make u win...hope that u lost in trust care n loyalty n god u will always bag it up for u as long as u are alive... Love u...after all say or be free in every relationship u come across with...

We'll tjo let's take care of our future this mind make u win...hope that u lost in trust care n loyalty n god u will always bag it up for u as long as u are alive... Love u...after all say or be free in every relationship u come across with...

Guys I recently found a boy who said he loves me and I thinks he does loves me but I don't think I should date him because last of last he wanted to date my sister and now he wants me the thing I asked is that why does he now all of the sudden want me to date him and whats confuses me most is that we were schooling at the same school and he was not Seeming to be interested in me the whole year and yesterday we met at the beach that's where he started telling me he loved but he first said to me can we please date for one day and sudently told me that he want something eternal ...I enjoyed every moment with him when we were together the way he kissed me in the neck and mouth I think I wanna date him but please guys tell me what I should do he even took my number iam afraid to get to wataap because I don't know what I will say

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Sister, what I can say is this guy doesn't sound serious with you, yes the kiss must have felt good! But where is respect there when he once wanted to date your sister!! And when he told you/ asked you to date for one day!! What I think is this guy wants the benefits of having a girlfriend these holidays!! That's all

hey girls, i'm new here. and i need advice . well i'm 16 ueear old and my boyfriend is 17 , we recently heh sex and it was really painful (i i didn't enjoy it at all) but it was the only time we did it .and ever simce that day i told myself thay i'm never having sex again . well the thing os after having my virginity broken , when i got home i had liquid coming out of my vagina. it wasn't discharge or blood .it was more like water .and it came out two times , the second time it came out all at once and i thought it had peed on myself .but when i went to check what it was , there was nothing .so just for safety reasons i put on a panty liner. so my question is what is that liquid that came out of my vagina? is it normal or what? i'm really scared guys and i haven't told my boyfriend about it cause im too embarrassed . please help!

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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girl its either you are pregnant or you now have STD i think you should go to the nearest clinic and please bbe keep me posted

Hey guys I recently met this guy and I really like him but i want to have sex with him but knowing the consequences that I will have to face after that I'm just not sure and sometimes I feel like I'm not ready I really like him and I think I might loose him if I don't

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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if you don't feel like you're ready , then don't do it baby. sex won't make him stay.

Hello Musaomuhle It was very brave for you to share this with us. It is always better to have sex with someone when you are ready. No one has a right to pressure or force you to do so. Only do it when you are comfortable and ready. Also, use protection. Many women (and men) who are in a sexual relationship feel like they have to have sex with their partner any single time their partner wants to. This is not true. A healthy sexual relationship involves having choices in any situation and you have a choice to say no to sex even when you are in a sexual relationship with someone. If you are struggling to say no read our article on Springster to help guide you.

Thanks guys😀

Hi my advice is don't let Any one pressure you something you don't want to do

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

It's a good thing you talked to your big sister and your story helped me realise that you must only do something when you are ready to do...

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Don't do it if you are not ready

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Ya that true .

Never have sex when u are not completely ready

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Hi

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

The is nothing wrong with you ntombi .😍

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Hi

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Brave enough gal

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Well...I have been dating a guy for almost 8months. ..💓We were so in love and he promised to marry me 💞I was so delighted. .it felt like a dream come true. .as I have been used in my previous relationships. .he was a fuckboy and I thought maybe he could change and not go back to his old ways 😣. .a lot of people warned me about him buh I thought they were just jealous angry he told me that a lot of people would wanna come in between us...so I believed that he had changed...about a week ago,I was with him..he went through my phone...he saw that I was chatting to guys..I was so amazed cause he knew that I don't hang out with gals. .cause they betrayed me a lot of times...while he went through my phone he saw that I was chatting to this guy..I made a joke and said I have 200 boyfriends 😂😂😂I was just joking but he took it seriously. ..so he was angry at me 😠I apologised to him and we managed to fix things😯but the following day..I saw her posted a pic of him and some girl..I was so hurt cause I thought that he had forgiven me...I even cried😭😭😭worst thing is that he posted it on Facebook. .so it was seen by everyone that had warned me about him....I received a lot of texts...but I pretended that I was fine. .he didn't even bother to explain himself..I confronted him but he ignored my texts..so I was shattered. .cause I believed he had changed but turns out that I was fooling myself😢😢😭and now his friend wants to date me..but I think that it's a trap😡...worst thing is that I still love him...I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO 😢😢😢😢😢😭 Please help me 😭😭😢

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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U don't have to continue with de very same person who hurts.....for example ....I was dating dis other guy.....he also promised to marry me but as time went.....he started ignoring my texts and giving excuses .....I forgave him every time buh it got to a point where I was fed up ...........if he ignores u my sister leave him alone.....don't question him many times why he ignores u.....leave him alone and sometimes listen to what people say because it might be true #layl❤

Jinx

You might have lovesickness like me it's very serious

Matlou

Move on gal if you didn't have sex with him is not a tough thing to do.Take time to date another boyfriend so you can be healed enough

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂ʊ ʟօʋɛ sɛx ɨ ċaռt ɦɛʟք ʊ aɮօʊt sɛx ʝʊst ɖօ ʊ sɛx xɛʍ 👙👙👙👙👙👙👙👙👡👡👡😂😂😂😂😂😂💸💸💸💸💸ɨʍ օʋt 😂😂😂🚵🚵🚵🚵🚵🚵🚵🚵🚵🚵🚵🚵

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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😂😂😂😚

Hy Springster M 15 yrs of age n i hv a boyfrnd We hv 2 yrs since dating n he want us 2 hv sex I feel lyk m ready but m scared of wat wll hapoen after we hv sex De other thing is dat we go to de sym church n m scared dat he wll tll his frnd den dump me afterwards Plz help

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Hey girl you are only 15yr You have a long way to go in life And if your boyfriend loves you he will wait until Yoll are big enough to have sex or kids You have a bright future 👑💖don't give in Plz don't say NO!!!

Woow!!_💔...This story is really heart breaking but I'm glad you finally got over it...i really learned a lot from your story... To be honest.. I was in the same situation but having a strict grandmother encourages me to always Say No... But , my partner is understanding but as a guy he has feelings.. But your story made me realize that I have to think about the future and focus on something positive like my education... Thank you Thuso❤❤ # confidence #love

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Am 19years and i don't have girlfriend but i want to have sex

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

I regret losing my verginity at an early age because for choosing friends over my own mother

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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ohh mgal, sorry for that but I hope ur mom will understand what was happening to u. my word is warn others don't let them do that bye!!

Matlou

I hope you and your mum will cop after what happened to you and should apologize for what you did to her and try to make her special because she could lost hope on you so try to have a bond with her ☺️☺️☺️ good luck about your disition that you will make my friend

Why did he fourse u

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

I also lost my virginity at an age . and tbh I feel really bad now 😣 I wish I'd stayed virgin until I was old enough but what can I do ? It's already done I just have to live with it

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Hi, I broke up with many boyfriends because they ask me to have sex with them n if I refuse they change n start not to luv me.m 26 yrs n m virgin m now feeling lyk m too much stingy. But I don't wanna regret when I give my body to a rong person because I wanna get married in ryt way. What do you thing about me pliz help

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Hi Ale Am still a virgin too. there is nothing wrong with you waiting for the right guy.I want to lose it to the one.Dont let pressure take over.When you are ready you will know.The person with the right answer is you.Am proud of you its not easy been a virgin...

Hi Cherie I am Mbali I am a boy Iam 18 years old Iam a virgin to I love of being a virgin because I feel free all the time when I'm staying with girls I don't think about negative things

Hey Ale thanks for sharing. Having sex for the first time can be a very daring experience. It is important that you have sex when you are absolutely ready as there are emotional and physical risks that come with it. If you do decide to have sex then you should remember to use a condom to prevent unwanted pregnancies and STII's including HIV.

Matlou

Don't blame yourself what you doing is is what i want to do when i grow up so that i give my body to the right person

Hi guys ....Im 17years old will be turning 18 on January so like I lost my virginity when I was 16 years old things were kul but after a while I started regretting why did I do it in the first place but a while after I just gave in en became okay.... So well I met this guy I'm dating ryt now he's a loving en caring guy we had sex for the first tym en we never used a condom only to find out that he actually doesn't like using a condom but said if I ain't comfortable with that u shud tell him so I'm scared to tell him bcz I think he might start cheating or having a change of heart about our relationship... So please help guys wat shud I do

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

I think u don't need to compromise ur self ..👸👸.n try to prove ur self for a guy...I think a guy must luvs u for who u are...not what u can do or give. 💁💁💁

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

I have been dating this guy for 3 months nd I luv him so much in our relationship we set rules Lyk we gonna have sex twice a month , we only drinking in special occasion. Nd he has been the best boifrnd ever in my lyf

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

I have been dating this guy for 3 months nd I luv him so much in our relationship we set rules Lyk we gonna have sex twice a month , we only drinking in special occasion. Nd he has been the best boifrnd ever in my lyf

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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My boyfriend was the same boyfriend bt i won't tell u wht has changed him

I have been dating this guy for a month i had sex with him bt he still loved me. We keep on dating for a year after a year he started to change he became someone i don't knw

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

So guyz my bf tried to insert his penis in my vigina bt i jumped every time he tried to coz am a virgin... so are there chances dat am pregnant😞😦😦😦

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hi Mamz, in order for you to get pregnant, he would've needed to ejaculate inside of you. From what you're describing, it seems unlikely that you are pregnant. If you are still worried, feel free to visit your local doctor or clinic to get tested or you can buy a pregnancy test from your local supermarket to test yourself at home. We'd also like to emphasize that no one has the right to pressure you into having sex. If you feel pressured into having sex remember that speaking to an adult that you trust about these things can help. We'd advise you to reach out to someone like a parent/guardian, a relative, neighbor or teacher if you are feeling this kind of pressure.

So guyz my bf tried to insert his penis in my vigina bt i jumped every time he tried to coz am a virgin... so are there chances dat am pregnant😞😦😦😦

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

Latest Reply

Go get the morning after pills b4 72hours pass to make sure ur not pregnant

No...but then if it happens you miss your period better get yourself tested

Mmmm I think u gave such a good advice and I think it has helped me a lot😊😊

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

The truth is sleep around is not good at all. When you younger we press our self and that is not the way we must do sex.I never enjoy sex in my earlier age .I don't know what I was doing I never feeling love was just that I must do because I'm the gal.

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

hy springer ....OK here's a thing my boyfriend wanted 2 have sex with me we have been dating for about 4 months so talked about this and I told I am ready but am nervous am scared of pain since am a virgin ...so a week later we tried having sex but it wasn't a success it was too painful I couldn't handle it so now am scared 2 try again but I want 2 try just make it pass coz I believe that the pain will still b the same it doesn't matter when I do it so is there anything or anyway I could use 2 make sex less painful n be more fun

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Hey Springster, thanks for reaching out to us with your question. If you are sure that you are ready to have sex, and it's just the fear of physical pain stopping you then we think you and your boyfriend should talk about gentler ways of going about it. Unfortunately there aren't many ways to prevent pain completely, but you can try ease it by using lubrication and asking your boyfriend to be a little more gentle. If you're still frightened, there's absolutely no rush. Ask yourself and your boyfriend if you're okay with giving each other different forms of pleasure through oral sex. When you're ready in the future, you can let him know.

hey girls...I'm turning 15 ND started dating at a very early age...my virginity was broken at 14 yrs..I have had strange feelings since then ..mi body has changed... I've grown curves after having sex...is this normal??🤨

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Hey Springster, thanks for coming to us with your question. We think that that's only a myth. Remember that virginity is only a construct and that nothing physically dramatic happens when you start having sex for the first time. The only thing that usually happens is your hymen breaking and you also might bleed slightly. However, if you know for sure that your body has changed, then think about other possible reasons for this. Have you been eating a lot more or are you suddenly less active than usual? If you are super concerned and you aren't sure of the reason, speak to an adult you trust or visit your nearest clinic or doctor for a check-up.

To have sex that is not planed or both agreed to, it can lead you to unprepaid pragnacy, need to know more about effect of sex before u have sex

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

Was so ashamed to let the people know I'm not a vrgin am still scared cause it got broke at an early age scared that they will make fun of me

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

I am the one who got anger and frustration, regret of something I did from the past few years I even hate myself more than every time when I think about that, even now 😭 😭 I have a pain.

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Hello Zodwazama We understand that this must be hard for you. Forgiveness is something that we all need to do so that we can get better. If there is someone such as a parent, aunt or teacher you trust, talk to them. You can also call the Childline free Hotline 08 000 55 555

Hey guys I'm dating this guy he's 36 Nd I'm 16yrs yrs Nd we've been dating for over 5yrs now Nd we haven't had sex I think I'm ready to have sex with him but I'm scared he will leave me even thou he always told me dat he will nvr leave me wat should I do guys

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Hey 🙂. I suggest that you do not have sex with him cause he is way older than you. You must think about STIs and also STDs. What if you become pregnant and he leaves you? What will you tell your parent or guardian?. But if you feel that you are ready and you will use safety then it's your choice.

Hi Pretty2710, sex should be a really fun experience that you have with someone that you trust. if you're insecure about him and don't trust him enough to still be with you afterwards, then perhaps you should give yourself some time to think about it and have sex at another time when you trust the person you're with and also when you're emotionally ready. We hope this helps Springster, and that you end up making the right decision for yourself.

No gal

I know the are other gals who are ready to have sex,but I want to tell u something a guy whom u are dating now do trust him because many boys have many thoughts of moving on after having sex with u.......please take it serious

I know the are other gals who are ready to have sex,but I want to tell u something a guy whom u are dating now do trust him because many boys have many thoughts of moving on after having sex with u.......please take it serious

Sorry gal

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

Sorry gal

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

i need sex

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

I also had a sex when I was 15 years three times after the guy was distanced I started hate my self a lot also him I promised my self that I will never do sex again still now in my mind I still see my self as a virgin I don't know why the biggest problem I never told anyone this thing

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

Hi springsters the is this guy we meet at some group n we keep on seeing each other this guy wants a bby n I promised him that I will give him but now I'm confused I don't know what to do plz help 🙇🙇

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Hello Cenzi Thank you for trusting and sharing this with us. Having a baby is something you should think about. Ask your self if you are ready to have one.If your partner will be responsible for the baby. Talking to someone close to you would also help. It can be an adult you trust.

I'm 20 in age n I hv been using prevention pills but I stopped using them but since I stoped them I never went 2 my periots also me n my boy friend we been having unprotected sex so am I pregnant?

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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it may be you are pregnant .use pregnant taste

Hello guys, please help me... (unprotected sex) I'm a virgin and I slept with my boyfriend yesterday, we tried to engage in sex, as i gave up my virginity t. Him,though it was painful, i could feel his manhood inside my vargina, almost half size of it he told me he cummed inside but i couldn't feel it,he didn't break me and im still a virgin ,,,, am i in a risk of pregnancy?

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Go for checkup

Hi Temmy If you have further questions please contact Beyond Zero. If you have any questions on sex, sexual health or if you are too embarrassed to ask questions yourself then you can do that with these organisations.

Hi

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Hi Springster

This is a very sad story an im on a serious relationship an a guy want 2 have sex with me .so is a bad idea to break this relationship

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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tell him u are not ready

Don't do it if you not ready. And if he tries to seduce you. Just break up with him. On the stop 💔

This is a very sad story an im on a serious relationship an a guy want 2 have sex with me .so is a bad idea to break this relationship

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

Hy guys i had sex wth a guy since we date wen i was in grade 5 now im in grade 12 so he distant himself frm me he is the only 1 i love wat can i do guys im confused he even gave me a baby boy he doesnt support him i do all the best wth my family 2 protect my child🤦🤦🤦

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Hi Temmy Thank you for reaching out. You engaged in a sexual act. You need to make sure that you go for an HIV and STD test if you engaged in unprotected sex. When having sex, try to make sure that protection is used during sex so that pregnancy and STDs can be avoided by all parties when engaging in sexual acts. There are different ways to protect yourself against falling pregnant and catching STDs.

Hi Temmy Thank you for reaching out. You engaged in a sexual act. You need to make sure that you go for an HIV and STD test if you engaged in unprotected sex. When having sex, try to make sure that protection is used during sex so that pregnancy and STDs can be avoided by all parties when engaging in sexual acts. There are different ways to protect yourself against falling pregnant and catching STDs.

Hey Guys I'm Cassy and I'm new here.... I have been dating this guy he is 19 years old and I'm 16 years old. We dated last year on October 28 and he rushed things into sex. Well I was a Virgn, we made sex after 2 weeks dating. He broke my virginity then we made sex using a Condom then on this day he said no we should do it raw since he was going to initiation school. I agreed. He came back and we were getting along so well and we have been having sex and it was amazing though. We made sex more like over did sex we made 4 rounds. Later that day my punani started to smell. I went on periods with my pussy smelling and every time I peed it would hurt down there. So this day I forced things since it was my last day on periods, we made sex. He started to distance himself from me. Help what should I do???

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Hi Magobiyane Thank you for sharing this with us. We are so sorry that you are going through this. A condom is not only used so that one cannot fall pregnant but also for things such as HIV. It also helps to prevent you from getting infections. We advise you to always use a condom. There is no need to panic, please go to a clinic and explain this to them. They will be able to help you better. Let us know how it went Springster.

Hey Springster, thank you for coming to us for some advice. Please remember that you are allowed to say no to sex when you don't feel like it and when you feel unsafe. Remember that condoms are there to protect you from pregnancy and STI's and your partner should respect your decision to use one. If you are still hurting down there, we'd suggest that you go visit your nearest doctor or clinic for a check up. You might never know why someone is distancing themself from you unless of course you ask them and they're willing to be honest to you. See if you can talk to them about why he is behaving this way towards you. Also try and see if you can talk to an adult that you trust about whatever you are feeling or going through emotionally, sexually and otherwise. You can talk to anyone from your parents/guardians, to your relatives, neighbours, teachers or older siblings. Otherwise you can also talk to the counselors at Childline SA. They will offer you counselling over the phone, in person and online. You don't need to give them your name and can contact them any time of the day or night. Contact them if you are scared, feel alone and if something is happening to you, or someone you know. They are here to help you! Don't forget you can contact them on their 24/7 Toll Free Helpline: 08 000 55 555 for help. Visit their website: http://www.childlinesa.org.za, Facebook and Twitter page for useful information. Another thing Springster, please be sure not to use your real name when commenting on the site. We want to make sure you can protect your personal information and your identity when using the site. We'll always make sure to refer to you as a fellow Springster or use the username that you've provided us with on the site.

same to me sisters i went through that situation and i end up forced my boyfrnd to marry me.

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

Hey springster!I need help I always crave for sex and I would watch porn videos to make me feel better but once I'm with my partner I don't enjoy sex.....so what should I do cause I'm afraid to stop him after I have turned him on?

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Delete all the porn videos if you feel like your craving sex just watch comedian movies or play music or keep your self bizy

Expectations!Expectations!Expectations! . Girl - I also used to be a porn addict , I then realized that if I don't stop watching em I might start doing things that I ain't fit for in this stage .. If I managed to overcome , so can you - As for your boyfriend not doing the most when it comes to sex , that can also be effected by those pornos you watch cause after you watch the vids , thats how you want your partner to exactly do and that's not the case - Try quitting porn and see how you will start viewing things (it'll be a whole new experience😋)-- Good luck , a Springsteen loves you

Hey Springster, thank you for reaching out to us with your comment. Please do understand that the feelings that you have are normal. Many women find that they achieve orgasms better on their own than when they're actually having sex. You have every right to say no at any point that you and your partner are being intimate. It's also okay if you don't want to have sex or be intimate with him at all right now. It could be a good time for you to take time for yourself and explore the things that make you feel good while you're on your own. Whether it’s your bae, your friends or anyone else, no one is allowed to pressure you into having sex. Have you thought about a parent, older sibling, aunty, teacher or a professional who can offer you support? Sadly, we can't talk to you directly but you can call Childline SA. They will offer you counselling over the phone, in person and online. You don't need to give them your name and can contact them any time of the day or night. Contact them if you are scared, feel alone and if something is happening to you, or someone you know. They are here to help you! Don't forget you can contact them on their 24/7 Toll Free Helpline: 08 000 55 555 for help. Visit their website: http://www.childlinesa.org.za, Facebook and Twitter page for useful information.

I made the biggest decision in my life💔I was only 13 years old when I break my virginity and I'm not proud of it😪. Thank you This for sharing your story with us.

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

Guyz I don't know I'm 18 years old now but I'm still a Virgin✊✊✊

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

I was raped at 16 when I had never had sex in my life, he left me pregnant and empty. Since then I haven't been able to trust man at all so I refrain from dating

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Hi Yanda_M, we're so sorry that you had to go through something like that. No one deserves to go through something like that. We sincerely hope that you don't blame yourself for anything or feel ashamed in anyway. We understand why you aren't able to trust any man right now and that's okay because you should deal with it in the best way you know how. We do think that that it's important that you have some support and talk to someone that you trust about your emotions and what you are going through, because it could be hard to deal with all that alone. Try to see if you can talk a trusted adult like a parent/guardian, an older sibling, relative, or a trusted neighbour. You can also speak to the counselors at Childline SA. You don't need to give them your name and can contact them any time of the day or night. They are here to help you! Don't forget you can contact them on their 24/7 Toll Free Helpline: 08 000 55 555 for help. Check out their website on http://www.childlinesa.org.za as well as their Facebook and Twitter page for useful information.

You weren't younger that much so you should start forgetting about what happened

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

That was very brave of you , because I think if it was me on your position i would have lost my cool but your story made me realise that speaking can save a person from stressing and staff .well done thuso

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

Thanks Thuso for sharing your story because i was also thinking of having my first sex on my birthday in July this year

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Hi Andi-leen, we're glad the article was useful to you. We hope that you do make time to figure out what the best thing to do is for you. Your well-being matters to us, so if you need more advice on sex, you can always call Love Life for on 0800 121 900 or send them a please call me on this number 0 8 3 3 2 3 1 0 2 3 to call you back.

Guyz am new here and I really need your help iam 17 years old am dating this guy he is 21 and we started dating in the early November and we hv 2 month's while dating and I had hv sex with him 3 times using protection he always come 2 my school to check me out but the thing is he doesn't trust me in the way that he check my phone always tell me nt to cheat when am offline he doesn't call me now it been 14 days without communication now my problem is that I don't think he still loves me So plz sisters help

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Hi Eez We are glad that you always use protection every time you have sex. Communication is important in a relationship and we think that is what you should do with your boyfriend. Find time to talk to him and let him know how you feel about the situation. Talking will help you fix things.

Hellow guys I'm new here. The thing is I was raped at the age on 9 but now am 22 I have had sex since nd I love my boyfriend but I am scared it like I am giving him power over me I really need help

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Hi Springster, thank you for sharing your story with us. It is very brave of you to do this. We're so sorry that you had to go through something like that. No one deserves to go through something like that. We sincerely hope that you don't blame yourself for anything or feel ashamed in anyway. We also understand why you might feel this way about your partner and that's okay because youare dealing with it in the best way you know how. We'd really advise you to consider speaking to a friend, mentor or professional for support. Sadly, we can't talk to you directly but you can call Childline SA. They will offer you counselling over the phone, in person and online. You don't need to give them your name and can contact them any time of the day or night. They are here to help you! Contact them on their 24/7 Toll Free Helpline: 08 000 55 555 for help. Check out their website: http://www.childlinesa.org.za, Facebook and Twitter page for useful information

No boy should tell us to have sex when we do not want to have it and should respect that.💋

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

Hi guys... Im 18 and my boyfriend is 23 we've been dating for two months and already the guy wants to have sex with me... I feel like the guy doesn't love me he just want to fuck me and leave...he tells me that he doesn't wanna use protection when we'll have sex... I mean seriously who does that 🤦‍♀️... We hardly know each other and the guy just want things to move quick... Girls please advice me... Should I try to talk to him or just break up with him? ... I don't know what to do

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Hi Lulukay Thank you for trusting us with this. You should always know that no one has a right to force you into having sex with them. It is important to only have sex when you are ready. Using protection such as a condom doesn't only help with preventing pregnancy but other things such as HIV. Your boyfriend is supposed to wait until you are ready and not force you to do it. Talking to someone you trust about these things might help. We are also here if ever you need advise Springster.

Dump his ass👀

Hi guys am 19 but was never ready to have sex but I've been dating this guy for 3years and we always talked about having sex and he understood me but this one time i went to his home we started kissing as i usually stopped him this time when i did he said words to me to trust him and i did and we had sex i was so ashamed even cried but he held me close he never said anything he wanted me to have it sink in we've been talking our relationship hasn't changed but the second time we had it i had massive pains and am worried because the pain won't go away and am embarrased that we didn't use a condom this second time but we both tested any clue what might cause the pain i just dont wanna get pregnant

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Hey Springster! Sorry for the delay, I had some technical issues! Thank you for your question. I am pleased to tell you that you can now chat to Big Sis, a smart robot who will help you make smart choices when it comes to sex and relationships. She's ready to answer all your burning questions. Click on this link to get started: https://bit.ly/2TR8r2H

Dump he's ass🗣️👀

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

Your body is worthy, and sex before marriage is a sin. I think we should try by all means to defeat temptations.

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

I really have this urge to have sex but I haven't found the right guy what should I do in the mean time?😖

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Hey Springster! Sorry for the delay, I had some technical issues! Thank you for your question. I am pleased to tell you that you can now chat to Big Sis, a smart robot who will help you make smart choices when it comes to sex and relationships. She's ready to answer all your burning questions. Click on this link to get started: https://bit.ly/2TR8r2H

*-Hey springster thanks for sharing your story ♡it really encourages me a lot

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Hey Kulture! I am pleased to know you enjoyed the story! Keep it locked on Springster.

Hy Thapelo ur 18 and ur a virgin girl cool have sex when ur ready and no one should put u under pressure✊✊✊

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

Take not ladies Always do it when you are ready

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

Hi guys... I'm new here..... I don't know how Too feel... I'm ashamed of what l did but at the Sametime it's like the moment to remember... I'm a 17 year old.. And l slept with a older man.... I won't say it was a mistake or love... But l thought l was gonna be famous or whatever.... I meet him this festive... Visiting my older sister... In Houston townhouse... He lived three floors from me.. His a soccer player I would like to keep him anonymous.. For now... Guys... For the fact ukuthi his famous l slept with him.... The best part we used a condom.. The worst part is... The next day l meet him at the car park.... Down stairs... With his so called son... He acted as if he has never meet me before.... I'm scared to tell my sister she won't allow me to come visit her again.... I'm planning on exposing him... But his well known they won't believe me anyway.... 😮

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Hey Springster! Sorry for the delay, I had some technical issues. I have hidden your comment to protect your privacy. I am pleased you felt able to share your thoughts, it's a really brave first step. Have you thought about talking to an adult that you can trust about this? This could be anyone from your parents/grandparents, a relative like an aunt, a neighbour or teacher. Sadly, we can't talk to you directly but you can get extra advice from CHILDLINE SA. They can offer you counselling over the phone. You do not need to give your name and can call them 24/7. Their toll free helpline is : 0800 055 555 or check out https://www.childlinesa.org.za/ you will receive the support you need, by a friendly person trained to help you in a confidential way. Take care.

Hi Girls...So this boy that are with me on school wants to have sex with me. He has tried a whole year to let that happend.like he was texting a whole lot of messagers to me , to ask when can he come and visit me and when are we gonna do it , but I'm scared. I'm still a virgin. And I lied about it and said that i'm not a virgin anymore, just get to him. I am just so scared that when we have sex that he'll leave me high and dry. What must I do now? Please comment down below👇!

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Wow so sorry

give me ur contact details dear

Hey Springster! Sorry for the delay, I had some technical issues! Thank you for your question. I am pleased to tell you that you can now chat to Big Sis, a smart robot who will help you make smart choices when it comes to sex and relationships. She's ready to answer all your burning questions. Click on this link to get started: https://bit.ly/2TR8r2H

Hy im dk im married im so ashamed of saying this but i did anyway,i cheated my husband with a childhood friend everything was fine we used protection then all of a sudden he said he loves me too much whereby he wants a child,to the mere that i loved him too,we did unprotected sex which i felt bad about so now he likes to say to me when im naked,i have signs of pregnancy the problem is that i havent taken pregnancy test im so scared i don't know what to do

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Springster! Sorry for the delay, I had some technical issues. I have hidden your comment to protect your privacy. I am pleased you felt able to share your thoughts, it's a really brave first step. Have you thought about talking to an adult that you can trust about this? This could be anyone from your parents/grandparents, a relative like an aunt, a neighbour or teacher. Sadly, we can't talk to you directly but you can get extra advice from CHILDLINE SA. They can offer you counselling over the phone. You do not need to give your name and can call them 24/7. Their toll free helpline is : 0800 055 555 or check out https://www.childlinesa.org.za/ you will receive the support you need, by a friendly person trained to help you in a confidential way. Take care.

There is nothing wrong being used on sex it is fun

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

Never have sex when uu are young books before boys because boys gonna bring babies🙆🙆😭😭😭

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Sex when you are underage is a terrible idea