My parents are always nagging me about something. Like, how I love wearing old t-shirts and comfortable trousers, but my mom says girls should only wear long skirts and dresses. She also says I use my phone too much. I feel like I just can’t have fun anymore.
Dad has also been strict with me too. I love working on computers and writing code, but he hates the idea of me working in computer sciences. He made me drop it as a subject this year.
My brother, Xolani, seems to be able to eat, wear and do what he wants. It makes me so angry.
Lately my mom has also started criticising my friends, saying she thinks they aren’t clever enough.
I love my friends, they always support my passions and dreams. Mom thinks they are a distraction and dad says a girl should not be friends with a boy at my age, as people will get the wrong idea. I think it is all too much. My friends laugh at me about how strict my parents are.
It is my best friend Nomazizi’s birthday this weekend, and my parents have said I can’t go. They won't give me a reason why not.
I respect my parents and I know they are just looking out for me, but I also want to have more control over decisions that affect me. I think I have proved I am super trustworthy, so I hope they can be open to having a conversation with me.
I took some time to calm down and made sure to only talk to them when I was not angry. When I was ready, I calmly told them that I was proud of the woman I was becoming. That I study hard and value my friendships – and that I would like their support.
I gave them space and time to voice their concerns, and they respected my points too. At the end of the conversation, my parents both admired how mature I had become. They both agreed, that they would support my decisions more. Mom has even promised to stop buying me frilly dresses!
Have you ever opened up to your parents about wanting to be more independent? Tell us in the comments below.